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We Will All Verily Abide by the Will of God.

Bahá’ís will recognize this pledge of marriage, as the verse required to be spoken individually by the bride and the bridegroom in the presence of at least two witnesses at all Bahá’í marriages.

The pledge of marriage, the verse to be spoken individually by the bride and the bridegroom in the presence of at least two witnesses acceptable to the Spiritual Assembly is, as stipulated in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas.  (Baha’u’llah, Baha’i Prayers, p. 103)

The sincerity with which it’s spoken is left to the consciences of those who utter it:

This sincerity with which the sacred verse is spoken is a matter for the consciences of those who utter it. (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 385)

My hunch is that many of us forget it as soon as it’s said, not understanding how to apply it when troubles creep into the marriage.  In the next series of articles, I want to look at what this verse means in the context of solving the ten most common marital problems.

Before marriage, there is one “Will of God” that all couples MUST do to guarantee a happy and successful marital life and that’s to have complete chastity before marriage:

The Bahá’í Teachings on this matter, which is of such vital concern and about which there is a wide divergency of views, are very clear and emphatic. Briefly stated the Bahá’í conception of sex is based on the belief that chastity should be strictly practised by both sexes, not only because it is in itself highly commendable ethically, but also due to its being the only way to a happy and successful marital life. Sex relationships of any form, outside marriage, are not permissible therefor, and whoso violates this rule will not only be responsible to God, but will incur the necessary punishment from society.  (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 344-345)

This is a principle which might seem easy to dismiss as archaic and out of step with today’s realities, but because it’s one of God’s laws, not obeying it before getting married means that already you are failing to “abide by the Will of God”.

Click here for more information on the topic of Sex Before Marriage:

After marriage, the 10 most common problems include:

Role Confusion 

Money 

Sex 

Infidelity 

In-laws and Children

Communication 

Spending Time Together

Love and Effort 

Unresolved Baggage from Childhood

Gossip and Backbiting

For more on this topic, please see:

Introduction to Marriage Vows

Sex Before Marriage 

Sex Inside Marriage 

Using the Year of Patience