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Overcoming Loneliness Part 2

In part 1, I explored some spiritual principles to consider when striving to overcome loneliness.  Sometimes none of this seems to make a difference (or maybe it’s just that I forget to apply all of it!), so to walk the spiritual path with practical feet, here are some other tools I use:

Essential Oils:

Why are they so effective?

When we inhale through the nose, airborne molecules interact with the olfactory organs and, almost immediately, the brain. Molecules inhaled through the nose or mouth are also carried to the lungs and interact with the respiratory system. Thus, inhaled essential oils can affect the body through several systems and pathways.

During inhalation, odor molecules travel through the nose and affect the brain through a variety of receptor sites, one of which is the limbic system, which is commonly referred to as the “emotional brain.”

The limbic system is directly connected to those parts of the brain that control heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, memory, stress levels, and hormone balance (Higley & Higley, 1998). This relationship helps explain why smells often trigger emotions.

I buy mine from Young Living.  You can read more at:

Although I’d love to be able to buy many more, the ones I currently use to counteract loneliness and feeling sorry for myself include:

  • Live with Passion (when I want to remind myself of my intention to “go with the flow” and be “a flame in a dark place”)
  • Magnify your Purpose (before every life coaching session!, Assembly meeting, or service opportunity)
  • Valor (to unite the disparate voices within)
  • Frankincense (to counteract despair)
  • Sensation (when I want to enjoy every moment of an activity and enhance my feelings of connectedness)
  • Joy (when I want to change my orientation from the physical world to the spiritual).
  • Peace and Calming (to counteract anxiety and panic).

Bach Flower Remedies:

Fortunately I have the entire kit, so if you go to this website and fill out the form (it won’t take much time).

Have a look at the remedies it suggests for you and if you like, I’d be happy to make up a bottle for you and send it to you.  I’d appreciate $10 to cover the cost of postage and bottle.

Listen to Radio Nur:

I play this Bahá’í radio station all day long, so I can be exposed to uplifting messages, which remind me to turn to God as I sing along:

Affirmations CD’s:

To counteract 50 years of negative messages programming my subconscious, I now listen to affirmations all night every night, and have their program running in the background on my computer.  The company I buy them from is Think Right Now:

As you will see from the website, they have a lot to choose from, and they aren’t specific to loneliness.  But whenever I fall victim to feeling sorry for myself, it’s usually the result of wrong thinking, which these affirmations help overcome, so I recommend taking a look at what they have to offer.  I can’t speak highly enough of the CD’s or the company and have written to them twice to say thank you.  You can read my letters here:

(my website is undergoing some changes so if this doesn’t work, please let me know)

Although I would like to buy more, the ones I am currently using include:

  • Infinite Joy
  • Freedom from Depression
  • Dissolving Panic and Anxiety
  • Releasing Fear of Failure
  • Unstoppable Motivation
  • Supreme Confidence
  • The Leader’s Mindset

Have you read “The Shack” by Wm Paul Young?  It is on the New York Times Bestseller list.  If you haven’t read it, ask around your community.  Someone is bound to have a copy to lend you.  It’s the story of a man who meets with God and given a glimpse of the next world.  In the book, God answers the age-old question about why bad things happen to good people.

The following quotes (attributed to God) really spoke to me.  The comments in brackets are my editorial comments:

“Living unloved (living with violence and abuse of any kind often leaves us feeling unloved) is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly.  Pain (including the emotional pain of loneliness) clips our wings and removes its ability to fly, and if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place”. (p. 97)

This reminds me of the Bahá’í prayer which begins:

O God! O God! This is a broken-winged bird and his flight is very slow — assist him so that he may fly toward the apex of prosperity and salvation, wing his way with the utmost joy and happiness throughout the illimitable space, raise his melody in Thy Supreme Name in all the regions, exhilarate the ears with this call, and brighten the eyes by beholding the signs of guidance.   (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of the Divine Plan, p. 89)

The following quote was a real turn-around for me in terms of my relationship to the “rules” or “shoulds” of the Bahá’í Faith.  Because I didn’t have good role models for parents in terms of what constitutes good behaviour, I was delighted to find the guidance in the Bahá’í Writings, and clung to it rigidly.  But in doing so, I was missing the “loving God” who is “closer than my life vein” and of course, I was unable to have a relationship with Him.

“Once you have a hierarchy (any hierarchy but in this case, we’re focusing on that between us and God) you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules and you end up with some chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it.”  (p. 123)  . . . Rules will never give you answers to the deep questions of the heart and they will never love you.  (only relationships will)  (p. 198)

Of course, we know that our purpose is to “know God and worship Him”.  Obedience comes from our relationship and the grace of God and aligning our will with the will of God.  Being rigid about following the laws only breeds superiority and judgments, which leads to disunity and separates us from God.

When I was putting together the quotes in part 1, I was looking at them with new eyes – those of a loving God – showering down His divine bounty – not telling me what to do.

Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.  Because if you don’t know that I love you, you cannot trust me.  (p. 126)

So perhaps what all of this is saying, is that it’s hard for us to have the kind of relationship with God which would alleviate our loneliness, because we haven’t had the proper foundation on which to trust Him.  And in order to develop it, we need to focus more on His love and allow it to recreate us (instead of forcing our will on obedience).  We know we’re never going to get it right all the time – the best we can hope for is to strive, little by little, day by day.

What are your thoughts?  Post your comments here: