The true worshipper, while praying, should endeavour not so much to ask God to fulfill his wishes and desires, but rather to adjust these and make them conform to the Divine Will. Only through such an attitude can one derive that feeling of inner peace and contentment which the power of prayer alone can confer. (Shoghi Effendi, The Importance of Prayer, Meditation and a Devotional Attitude, p. 239)
I used to have a relationship with God that was kind of like my relationship with Santa Claus. I’d come to Him with a list of things I wanted and hoped that if I was very good, He’d give them to me. This was a problem as a child, when my wishes were mostly centred on getting Him to stop the abuse and when it got worse, I stopped believing in God. I’m glad that phase of my life only lasted 10 years! But even as a Bahá’í, for many years, I didn’t make the link between what I was praying for in person, and what I was praying for when reciting the prayers from the prayer book. I still wanted what I wanted, and believed that if I was the perfect Bahá’í, He’d give me what I asked for. Sometimes He did and sometimes I felt like He was playing “Whack a Mole” with me.
With spiritual maturity, I’ve come to understand that all the tests He sent me were actually gifts in disguise. We can’t grow spiritually without tests. Think back on the darkest days of your life and see what virtues got you through and you’ll see what I mean. I love that in Ruhi Book 1 we’re asked to develop the discipline of studying prayers with someone. From this activity, I learned to dissect the prayer and look at what we’re really asking for when we repeat it.
I’ve also come to realize that with expectations come disappointments, and when I’m expecting a certain result, I’m in self-will, actually telling God what He can do for me. So I love this reminder that when I ask God to make my wishes and desires conform to His will, I will feel that inner sense of peace and contentment which makes blesses my life and the lives of those around me.
Remembering to conform my will to God’s will, I am grateful!
What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Be Happy
I kind of caught on to that as I rarely seemed to get what I wanted and prayed for. So mostly I would say ‘let it be Thine will, not mine” as then I would not be so disappointed. But I still ask for little things like ‘help me find my car keys’ or maybe a parking spot in a busy parking lot. The Almighty seems to not mind giving me little things like that. Illness is a tough one so mostly I ask for help to bear the treatment. As a result of chemo(aplastic anemia) which I have to take forever I am losing my hair so I am being treated with steroid shots in my scalp every 4 wks. This is not pleasant but bearable. So far no new hair but I did ask to bear it not for regrowth so we will see what becomes of it all.
I admire your positive, almost playful attitude in your approach to God, Gina!