To rise above the disappointments, obstacles, and pain which we experience in serving the Cause is difficult enough, but to be called on, in doing so, to be happy and confident is perhaps the keenest spiritual test any of us can meet. The lives of the Founders of our Faith clearly show that to be fundamentally assured does not mean that we live without anxieties, nor does being happy mean that there are not periods of deep grief when, like the Guardian, we wrap ourselves in a blanket, pray and supplicate, and give ourselves time for healing in preparation for the next great effort. (Shoghi Effendi, Quickeners of Mankind, p. 117)
In my meditation this morning, I was reminded of this quote, which is exactly the healing remedy I need for today. Living with anxiety means I often feel guilty and judge myself harshly when I just read the first part of quotes like these. Because it’s in the Writings, I make it black or white and live with a lot of guilt when I can’t reach the standards. Not only do I have to rise above my disappointments, obstacles, and pain but I have to be happy and confident in doing it. Either I’m doing it this way all the time, and I’m good or I’m falling short even once and I’m bad.
It’s so easy for me to beat myself up as being a “bad Bahá’í” especially when I start worrying about everyday concerns, or need to take time for healing, and I’m trying to stop this form of abasement. This quote reminds me that if the Founders of our Faith can live with anxieties and grief, then so too can this lowly servant. If even these people with superpowers I’ll never have also had moments where they felt the weight of their lives and needed time to recover their strength after some great disappointment, then it’s OK for me too. If God didn’t punish them, then surely He isn’t going to punish me either!
Letting go of my need to be perfect, I am grateful!
What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Fear into Faith: Overcoming Anxiety