To be approved of God alone should be one’s aim. (Words of ‘Abdu’l-Baha recorded by Dr. Edward C. Getsinger during his pilgrimage to Haifa in 1905; Star of the West, Vol. VI, No.6, p. 43; Compilation: Lights of Guidance)
. . . at all times seeking the approval of men is many times the cause of imperiling the approval of God. (Words of Abdu’l-Baha in answer to questions asked by Dr. Edward C. Getsinger during a few brief meetings at Haifa, January 26 to February 5, 1915, and recorded by Dr. Getsinger at the time; Star of the West, vol. 6, no. 6, June 24, 1915)
This morning I was reflecting with some friends on how we look to other people for external validation, to earn people’s love and respect or to prove our worth. A lot of people I know define their self-worth by how many “likes” they get on a social media posting. Many of us hang out with people who have similar tastes and compatible opinions in order to have fulfilling relationships and feel loved by friends and family. We tend to avoid or rebuff criticism or unwanted advice, no matter how well-meaning. I’m coming to appreciate that creating this false face and trying to please everyone else before myself not only stunts real intimacy, but it makes me an invisible chameleon and drains me of my energy.
Changing my behavior isn’t easy, when I am immersed in a sea of gossip and am greedy for the approval of others. I know how to get that drug that never satisfies. I understand all this, but what I don’t understand is how I can get even more greedy for God’s approval and what would it look like if I found it? How would I recognize it when it comes?
I don’t hear Bahá’ís talk about this much, so I’m baffled about what to look for, so that I can move from my lower nature (looking for the approval of others) to my higher nature (looking for God’s approval). I took a poll and some people mentioned feeling the quiet satisfaction of a job well done; or having a feeling of peace and serenity at the end of a day; or feeling grounded and in the flow; or being grateful for fresh insights that could only come from God. Any other ideas?
Finding ways to recognize and become greedy for God’s approval, I am grateful!
What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Getting to Know Your Lower Nature
I believe that deep inside we know,if what we do is for the good pleasure of our creator or just to please others . The question is to use the virtue of detachment and independence and be steadfast even if we are tested by their unfair and egotistical behaviour . If we succeed to do that , the results will surely be divine gifts and confirmations that Will ultimately be the cause of growth and guidance to everyone .
Yes, detachment from human opinions would create a vacuum, which hopefully would facilitate a new hunger for God’s approval. We tend to u Him if our immediate desires are fulfilled by lower things, so moving to higher matters often has to come involuntarily through disappointment or trauma on this worldly plane.
Good point Steve, I certainly wouldn’t have chosen the tests that have come my way, but I’m learning to accept them as gifts from God.
Good point Nooshafarin. God gave us intuition for a reason and when we listen to it, it definitely guides us to the right actions at the right time. I don’t always remember to tune in though.
What came to mind for me was that I focus more on the Writings and prayers I have more and more the thirst to serve. To me as I respond to the opportunity to serve this in itself increases my hunger for God’s approval.
Susan, Thank you for more thought provoking sharing. And Lana, Amen to that! You expressed my response beautifully.
Thanks for your enthusiasm, Eve.
Good point Lana. I also have to be careful because this enthusiasm for serving has driven me into exhaustion and burnout so these days I need to read more of the Writings on self care.
When I have done my best, or when I’ve done as much as I possibly can, I trust that God approves. I can’t do more than what I’ve done. If I could have done more, then I feel I have fallen short. But I also know that God forgives me, so I ask for forgiveness – and then try to forgive myself.
I just found an astonishing statement from ‘Abdu’l-Baha because, in my effort to do as much as I possibly can, I reach the point of utter exhaustion (as a result of never being able to please, or even satisfy, my abusive mentally ill mother. ‘Abdu’l-Baha said: “Now you have to rest and repose for some time and let your strength and breath be renewed. When a bird has been soaring in the air for a long time, it has to come down and rest for a while: after a long walk one must be seated and take some rest.”
I am now trying to teach myself that resting is also a necessary, and acceptable, action: SIT DOWN! STOP DOING!! REST!!!
Duane, can you share the source of your quote?
Now you have to rest and repose for some time and let your strength and breath be renewed. When a bird has been soaring in the air for a long time, it has to come down and rest for a while; after a long walk one must be seated and take some rest.
(Provisional Translations, Star of the West (Volume 1))
Thanks Susan! I needed to hear that today! I’m going to follow your advice and do some yoga.
Thanks to Susan Ludwig for finding the source of the quote: (Provisional Translations, Star of the West (Volume 1))
I too have totally reached the point of total exhaustion, Duane. I wrote the following articles for permission to take care of myself. If you haven’t already seen them, you might enjoy them.
A New (to me) Definition of Service: https://www.ninestarsolutions.com/a-new-to-me-definition-of-service/
The Importance of Good Self-Care: http://www.ninestarsolutions.com/the-importance-of-good-self-care/
The Need for Rest: https://www.ninestarsolutions.com/the-need-for-rest/
How Do We Start Taking Care of Our Own Needs? http://www.ninestarsolutions.com/how-do-we-start-taking-care-of-our-own-needs/
How To Take Care Of Yourself And Not Feel Guilty! http://www.ninestarsolutions.com/how-to-take-care-of-yourself-and-not-feel-guilty/
Hi, Susan! This is a very nuanced test for me. Often I catch myself after the fact. I am really working on this right now in my life. To long for His good pleasure, to act or speak only at His bidding, and to be content even if people don’t react well. As long as I am acting from that place of wanting to please Him and maintaining a humble posture of learning, then that needs to be the core of who I am and how I move through the world. Thank you for this confirming post.
I agree, Carol. I love the idea of a “humble posture of learning” and grateful to you (and the House of Justice) for giving it to us.
Thank you for exploring this topic- I realize this is exactly what my problem has been and the price I pay (negative results/lack of fulfilment) rises higher and higher… in all areas of life, health and relationships.
I see this form of ‘approval’, has been a way of releasing my expressive/creative energy… only mis-directed.
When I remember I have a Choice, I can choose God’s approval instead and redirect this energy in a more positive and self healing, creative way. Then I am in alignment, receiving likes or dislikes from the only True and Empowering authority there is -and not from the unqualified lower nature forums where judgement and guilt rule.
Well said, Laura! Thank you.