When criticism and harsh words arise within a Bahá’í community there is no remedy except to put the past behind one and persuade all concerned to turn over a new leaf, and, for the sake of God and His Faith, refrain from mentioning the subjects which have led to misunderstanding and inharmony. The more the friends argue back and forth and maintain, each side, that their point of view is the right one, the worse the whole situation becomes. (Shoghi Effendi, Directives of the Guardian, pp. 17-18)
There are 2 important issues for me in this quote: the first is how to handle hurt feelings arising from criticism and harsh words and here we have 3 concrete actions to take:
- put the past behind us
- persuade everyone involved to turn over a new leaf (perhaps by suggesting we say a prayer, and/or focus on being loving and forgiving and patient with the changes that take time)
- refrain from mentioning the subjects which have led to misunderstanding and inharmony either to anyone else or in the future.
The second part of the quote is the one which is so incredibly important and I don’t think we pay enough attention to it: the more we argue back and forth and maintain that our point of view is the right one, the worse the whole situation becomes. ‘
Abdu’l-Bahá, (Tablets of the Divine Plan, p. 56) goes even farther in saying:
If two souls quarrel and contend about a question of the divine questions, differing and disputing, both are wrong.
When our egos get in the way, and we want to always be right, we prevent unity and delay the establishment of the kingdom of God on earth.
Knowing I don’t have to be right all the time, I can relax and for that, I am grateful!
What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Letting Go of Criticizing Others
Many yrs ago this happened in two neighboring communities and it ended up that they lost their LSAs and a lot of the Friends moved away and became inactive. This was bad and seemed to be insolvable. An NSA member even came out and just said it was insolvable. We have come a long way since then. I would scream and yell now if that happened and insist that the friends get past what ever. What childish behavior!
My understanding is that the only effective remedy for the situation mentioned by Gina is for us to put our own feelings and views to one side and to follow the guidance in the Writings. When are egos are involved this is very challenging, but this is the solution. The quote that always helps me is: “See Me standing before your face and overlook the faults of one another for My sake.” (paraphrased)
Thanks for the quote Anthony. “Back in the day” I was in the 2nd group of people to ever be tutored in the Ruhi curriculum in Canada. Our group did books 1-6 in 6 weeks, meeting every day, all day and evening. It was a crazy, intensive immersion into Ruhi I hope was never attempted again! Wisely the tutor anticipated that this might be difficult for many of us, and did up this quote on pretty paper and gave it to us on the first day!
Yes, it happened in our community too, Gina, over 20 years ago and we’ve never recovered. We’re promised that Assemblies will be brought to naught if there is disunity and unfortunately it was fairly common back then. I’m not sure if it’s still an ongoing problem. I’d like to think we’ve got past it!
Well said!
Thanks for the encouragement, Eric! I love knowing people are “out there” and I’m not just writing for my own pleasure (which is fun too!)