Parents must exert every effort to rear their offspring to be religious, for should the children not attain this greatest of adornments, they will not obey their parents, which in a certain sense means that they will not obey God. (Bahá’u’lláh, Bahá’í Education, p. 6)
Children learn to be obedient to their parents first because they are the only authority figure they know. This allegiance is then transferred to God. For children like me, who grew up with abusive parents, who never received love or mercy or forgiveness, the concept of a loving God is just an intellectual knowing.
I’m 63 and my parents are long dead, but I’m still waiting for God’s punishment and have driven myself into burnout and adrenal exhaustion trying to earn enough spiritual brownie points to earn a place in heaven.
Just this week someone helped me finally see why, after being a loyal, devoted and deepened Bahá’í for nearly 40 years, I react so strongly and negatively to Ruhi and letters from our beloved House of Justice: I’ve seen them as a growing list of tasks from God (my Father), which I have to complete on time, perfectly or I will be punished by God or His representatives on earth (the Institutions). It’s been a terrible way to live! Thank God I now understand!
Never having personal experience with anyone approaching the All-Loving, the All-Merciful or the Ever-Forgiving, I can step out in faith, trusting God to heal this deep and far-reaching primal wound, and I am grateful!
What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence
Dear Susan, my heart bleeds to read your words of all that sadness in your past. Know that you are loved by your friends and this love is such a tiny amount compared to our God.
It’s all good, Lana, and the fodder for my spiritual growth. On good days I can even thank God for these tests, and I have more good days than bad! Thanks for your kind words of love and encouragement.
Thank you, Susan, for your amazing book and for your frank reflection on how hard it is to understand the tenderness with which God loves us!
This really resonates!
I’m glad it resonates, Susan. I love to know I’m not the only one! 🙂
Sometimes it feels like that, doesn’t it?
For children, their parents ARE God – the source of food, etc. As children’s knowledge and awareness expands their parents are less and less god-like. I, too, expended great effort and energy to earn my right to breathe and, eventually, to be “saved.” I’m nearly 70 now and beginning to realize I do not need to justify my existence – and I can begin to rest and relax.
I don’t know about you Duane, but I sure wish I’d learned this a LOT earlier in life! But I’m grateful to be learning it now, and like you, can begin to rest and relax.
Rest and relax. What is that? I just got off the phone with a close friend who loves me unconditionally and her daughters say hello Aunt Donna which makes me feel a little OK, but get off the phone and i still feel empty so I say 95 Alluabhahs. Still lonely, single and empty. I believe I was a product of emotional incest. I have an appointment with my crisis therapist tomorrow. I hope it will give me some hope and relief. I feel i need a significant other and I tell my friend I wish one for her. But she says she would rather I pray for peace and joy in her life. What is the substitute for a significant other. I have been single all my life and I think there is nothing more I can learn unless I have a significant other. I know my comments are all over the place but thats how Im feeling right now. Yes I take meds (Prozac, Seroquel) and perhaps there not working now. Feast is at 5:00p on zoom but i dont feel like attending.
O Donna, I feel like this much of the time too. Here are some articles I wrote, to try to deal with it:
Making God your Best Lover
Overcoming Loneliness