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Knowing Myself

He hath known God who hath known himself.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 178)

Of all of the quotes that encourage us to get to know ourselves, this is perhaps the most compelling for me, since the purpose of our lives is to know God!

For most of my life, when I wasn’t mad at God for not stopping the abuse or for not letting me do what I’d been praying fervently for assistance to do, I believed only in a punishing God or a God who kept score, so I had to constantly be earning “spiritual brownie points” to guarantee myself a better life in the next world.  “Knowing” this kind of God gave me all the permission in the world to continue the abuse I’d known as a child, by beating myself up for not being able to reach an impossibly high standard!

With this quote, I have all the permission I need, to get to know myself, and to see myself through the eyes of a loving God, who wants only the best for me.  How do I do this?  There are many ways, and each person will find their own way.  I do it through prayer and meditation, service, writing these meditations, therapy, and 12-Step Recovery.

Knowing God helps me to know myself, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence    Kindle

 

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Confronting our Abusers

Consort with all men, O people of Bahá, in a spirit of friend­liness and fellowship. If ye be aware of a certain truth, if ye possess a jewel, of which others are deprived, share it with them in a language of utmost kindliness and good-will. If it be accepted, if it fulfil its purpose, your object is attained. If any one should refuse it, leave him unto himself, and beseech God to guide him. Beware lest ye deal un­kindly with him. (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 289)

When I was confronting my parents about the abuse I sustained as a child, I unfortunately took my examples from the prevailing wisdom of the day, which said, tell them what you remember, what you want from them and what you will do if they don’t comply.  Needless to say, this approach got their backs up; they attempted to have me declared crazy and have my son taken away from me, and then when that didn’t work, they put a wedge between my siblings and I and cut me out of their lives.  I never saw any of my family after that.

As a good Bahá’í, it always bothered me that this action created so much estrangement in our family.  If I couldn’t have unity in my own family, how on earth could I help bring it to the world?

I wish I’d had the awareness and spiritual maturity called for in today’s quote.  Inside of coming on strong with threats, I could have approached them from a place of kindness and curiosity.  Unfortunately I was so full of hate and resentment and unforgiveness that there was no place in my heart for God, or love or friendliness or fellowship.  I have left them to themselves and pray for them.  It’s the best I can do for my family, but I have learned from my mistake and take care of the forgiveness first, before talking to anyone about a difficult matter.

Knowing I can talk to people kindly and if I’m rebuffed, I can leave them in God’s hands, I am filled with peace, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Violence and Abuse:  Reasons and Remedies      Kindle

 

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Reading the Book of Myself

One must, then, read the book of his own self, rather than some treatise on rhetoric. Wherefore He hath said, “Read thy Book: There needeth none but thyself to make out an account against thee this day. (Bahá’u’lláh, Seven Valleys and Four Valleys, p. 51) 

Over the years I’ve spent building up my website and my blog and trying to publish my books, I’ve had many steep learning curves and I’ve always turned to guru’s to help me, rather than take my problems to God.  This has caused an inordinate amount of stress and frustration as I’ve literally willed my way through the obstacles and blocks until I just couldn’t do it anymore.  I’d ruined my health and my will.

As I recover from workaholism and an addiction to the adrenaline rush of doing things my way, myself, I’m learning to “read the book of myself”, by listening to my body’s wisdom.  I ask:  what is this ache and pain trying to tell me?  What is God’s will for me in the moment?  What’s the next right action I need to take?  Am I living in the present (the home of serenity) or in the future (the home of anxiety)?

I’m also learning that what other people think of me is none of my business.  I don’t have to be perfect for anyone, including God.  I don’t need anyone’s approval, except God’s.  I can let go of all caretaking, approval seeking and people-pleasing and focus on building a relationship with God and with myself.

God’s opinion and guidance are all I need for today, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Getting to Know Your Lower Nature

 

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Forgiving Myself 

Change is an evolutionary process requiring loving education, patience with oneself and others, and the passage of time as the believers deepen their knowledge of the principles of the Faith, gradu­ally discard long-held traditional attitudes and progressively conform their lives to the unifying Teachings of the Cause. (Universal House of Justice, Lights of Guidance, p. 621)

I’m just learning how harsh I am with myself – I beat myself up so often, especially when I read the Bahá’í Writings.  I see how far I am from being the kind of Bahá’í I want to be, and it fills me with contempt and self-hatred.  I recognize this well-worn rut for what it is – it’s become my addiction.  Putting these negative thoughts on the hamster wheel inside my head and nursing them gives me the adrenaline rush I’ve come to know and depend on, just as an alcoholic depends on the next drink or the drug addict on the next fix.  Something needs to change.  I’m powerless to do it myself.  Along comes this quote, and challenges the voices inside my head.

It’s OK to not be perfect!  Change is an evolution.  I’m not expected to go from awareness to perfection, without the need for further loving education, patience and the passage of time.  Beating myself up is hardly the kind of education that works with anyone.  In fact I would never do to others what I do to myself.  I can take a deep breath, and breathe in God’s love for me and in doing so, letting it rub off on me.  I can cultivate patience.  I can keep deepening my knowledge of the principles of the Faith and gradually, one day at a time, discard these long-held idle fancies as I progressively conform my life to the unifying teachings of the Cause.

Knowing I can discard the drug of self-hatred and adrenalizing and cultivate the drug of love, acceptance, peace, patience, faith and trust, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

 

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Reassurance

 

I swear by My life! Nothing save that which profiteth them can befall My loved ones. To this testifieth the Pen of God, the Most Powerful, the All-Glorious, the Best Beloved.  (Shoghi Effendi, Advent of Divine Justice, p.  69)

This is a really hard quote for those who want answers to “why is this happening to me?”  No matter what life throws at us, the bottom line is that it’s happening to profit us.  Somehow, it’s for our good, and that can be hard medicine to swallow, especially when we’re going through really hard times.  I’ve come to understand that all of our tests serve 2 purposes:  to draw us closer to God and to help us acquire the virtues we’ll need in the next world.

When my brother was killed and my daughter died and I suffered through years of emotional, physical and sexual abuse, I felt like a victim and even for many years, blamed God.  If there was a God, (and for many years I couldn’t accept that there was), how could He do these things to me?  I’ve come to realize that God doesn’t think the way we do.  I will never understand why He gave us free will and then stood by watching what mankind would do with it.  But with these quotes, and others like it, I’ve come to recognize that my life is better with God in it.  I can more easily handle everything that comes my way, I can appreciate that it’s strengthened my relationship to him, and no doubt I’ve developed a lot of virtues, resilience among them.

Knowing that all my tests are for my benefit, I can relax and I am grateful!  

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Fear into Faith:  Overcoming Anxiety

 

 

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Remembering God

Lament not in your hours of trial, neither rejoice therein; seek ye the Middle Way which is the remembrance of Me in your afflictions and reflections over that which may befall you in future. Thus informeth you, He Who is Omniscient, He Who is Aware.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Synopsis and Codification of the Kitáb-i-Aqdas, p. 15)

As someone who has spent a great deal of her life feeling sorry for herself, it was surprising to read that I’m neither to lament when life is going badly or rejoice when it’s going well.  This reminds me of a Hidden Word which says something similar:

Be not troubled in poverty nor confident in riches, for poverty is followed by riches, and riches are followed by poverty.  (Baha’u’llah, The Persian Hidden Words 51)

So it seems in life we need both the good and the bad, and both serve their purposes, which is to draw us closer to God and help us acquire the virtues we’ll need in the next world.  When we live in the middle way, there’s no need to regret the past or fear the future.  We can live in this present moment, in which everything is perfectly all right, and trust the next moment to God.

I often gloss over the endings of quotes and prayers, so let’s not do that this time and look what Bahá’u’lláh is teaching us:  He is aware of things we can never understand, because He is the Omniscient.

When God teaches me how to behave, I can trust that this way is perfect for me and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Violence and Abuse:  Reasons and Remedies      Kindle

 

Help Keep This Site Alive