What is true love?
The essence of love is for man to turn his heart to the Beloved One, and sever himself from all else but Him, and desire naught save that which is the desire of his Lord. (Bahá’u’lláh, Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 155)
The real and great love is the love of God. That is holy above the imaginations and thoughts of men. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í World Faith, p. 365)
What is the love between two people?
But the love which sometimes exists between friends is not (true) love, because it is subject to transmutation; this is merely fascination. As the breeze blows, the slender trees yield. If the wind is in the East the tree leans to the West, and if the wind turns to the West the tree leans to the East. This kind of love is originated by the accidental conditions of life. This is not love, it is merely acquaintanceship; it is subject to change. Today you will see two souls apparently in close friendship; tomorrow all this may be changed. Yesterday they were ready to die for one another, today they shun one another’s society! This is not love; it is the yielding of the hearts to the accidents of life. When that which has caused this ‘love’ to exist passes, the love passes also; this is not in reality love. (Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 180)
How to think about heartbreak
O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace. To each and every one of them you will, no doubt, attain. Gleanings From the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p.232
Why do we get our hearts broken?
Anybody can be happy in the state of comfort, ease, health, success, pleasure and joy; but if one be happy and contented in the time of trouble, hardship and prevailing disease, it is the proof of nobility. Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdul-Baha Abbas, Baha’i Publishing Committee, 1909 edition Pages: 730
What to do when your heart is broken
Turn towards the “Best Lover”:
There is nothing greater or more blessed than the Love of God! It gives healing to the sick, balm to the wounded, joy and consolation to the whole world, and through it alone can man attain Life Everlasting. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 82)
By the life of God! A single drop of the ocean of His love is more profitable unto thee than the earth and that which is thereupon, because this will vanish and perish, but that drop of love will remain eternally and everlasting in the worlds of God. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá v3, p. 669)
In a letter written on his behalf, Shoghi Effendi uses the analogy of the plant turning in the direction of the sun to explain the spiritual significance of turning towards the
…just as the plant stretches out to the sunlight–from which it receives life and growth–so we turn our hearts to the Manifestation of God, Bahá’u’lláh, when we pray; … we turn our faces … to where His dust lies on this earth as a symbol of the inner act. (Bahá’u’lláh, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 169)
Understand just how much He loves us:
He gave us life because He loved us so much:
O Son of Man! Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty. My love is in thee, know it, that thou mayest find me near unto thee. (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 3).
O Son of Man! I loved thy creation, hence I created thee. Wherefore, do thou love Me, that I may name thy name and fill thy soul with the spirit of life. (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 4).
O SON OF THE WONDROUS VISION! I have breathed within thee a breath of My own Spirit, that thou mayest be My lover. Why hast thou forsaken Me and sought a beloved other than Me? (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 19)
His eye of favors is directed towards us:
Know thou that, verily, the eye of favors is directed to thee and is beholding thee with a divine glance, so that thou mayest, with clear eyes, see the lights of the Kingdom upon the horizon. Remember, at all times, this great favor and thank thy Lord and supplicate to Him every day. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá v1, p. 132)
Through this love, we receive eternal life:
There are four kinds of love. The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit—this same love—he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 180)
Understand the bounties and blessings of losing a loved one:
Live free of love, for its very peace is anguish; Its beginning is pain, its end is death. Peace be upon him who followeth the Right Path! (Bahá’u’lláh, The Seven Valleys, p. 41)
And if, confirmed by the Creator, the lover escapes from the claws of the eagle of love, he will enter THE VALLEY OF KNOWLEDGE and come out of doubt into certitude, and turn from the darkness of illusion to the guiding light of the fear of God. His inner eyes will open and he will privily converse with his Beloved; he will set ajar the gate of truth and piety, and shut the doors of vain imaginings. (Bahá’u’lláh, The Seven Valleys, p. 11)
Love is a veil betwixt the lover and the beloved. (Bahá’u’lláh, The Four Valleys, p. 60)
…. the Manifested Light, Baha’u’llah, in this glorious period has revealed in Holy Tablets that singing and music are the spiritual food of the hearts and souls. In this dispensation, music is one of the arts that is highly approved and is considered to be the cause of the exaltation of sad and desponding hearts. (‘Abdu’l-Baha, Star of the West, Volume 9, p. 131)
. . . if a person falls into errors for a hundred-thousand times he may yet turn his face to you, hopeful that you will forgive his sins; for he must not become hopeless, neither grieved nor despondent. This is the conduct and the manner of the people of Bahá’. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v2, p. 436)
He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century. (Baha’u’llah, The Book of Certitude, p. 193)
Remember, above all, the teaching of Baha’u’llah concerning gossip and unseemly talk about others. Stories repeated about others are seldom good. A silent tongue is the safest. Even good may be harmful, if spoken at the wrong time, or to the wrong person. (Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 125)
That seeker should, also, regard backbiting as grievous error, and keep himself aloof from its dominion, inasmuch as backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul. He should be content with little, and be freed from all inordinate desire. (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 264)
O people of God! Do not busy yourselves in your own concerns; let your thoughts be fixed upon that which will rehabilitate the fortunes of mankind and sanctify the hearts and souls of men. (Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 93-94)
Be not the slave of your moods, but their master. But if you are so angry, so depressed and so sore that your spirit cannot find deliverance and peace even in prayer, then quickly go and give some pleasure to someone lowly or sorrowful, or to a guilty or innocent sufferer! Sacrifice yourself, your talent, your time, your rest to another, to one who has to bear a heavier load than you. (The Research Department has found that these words were attributed to Abdu’l-Baha in an unpublished English translation of notes in German by Dr. Josephine Fallscheer taken on 5 August 1910. As the statement is a pilgrim note, it cannot be authenticated)
What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation? I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!
If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive
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Recently I’ve had a series of discussion with people who are “different”, who wonder where their place is, in the Baha’i community. Maybe they are autistic; or deaf or have Down’s syndrome. Maybe they have mental illness; or lived through a traumatic event. No matter the circumstances of their lives, their stories are all the same: they feel excluded from Baha’i community events; and whenever they try to share their story with others, they are shut down, told to stop being so negative, told to focus their attention on the core activities.
“Go away, conform and leave us alone” is the message they are given, over and over again.
They ask me: Do I have a place in the Baha’i Community?
Of course they do! And it always hurts my heart to hear these stories!
Isn’t it obvious that we’re all one? What does oneness mean if not that they are welcome?
What is the Standard We’re Aiming For?
Let’s look at the concept of oneness for a moment.
Everything in God’s creation is unique – why would we expect individuals to be different?
In God’s creation there is only one of everything. No two things are the same. (Adib Taherzadeh, The Revelation of Baha’u’llah v 4, p. 198)
Every member of the human race is born into the world as a trust of the whole:
In this regard, each individual needs to understand that, since the body of humankind is one and indivisible, each member of the human race is born into the world as a trust of the whole and that the advantage of the part in a world society is best served by promoting the advantage of the whole. (Baha’i International Community, 1998 Feb 18, Valuing Spirituality in Development)
Bahá’u’lláh compared the world to the human body. Every part looks different, and has a different function but all are needed for the efficient functioning of the body. No one makes fun of the knee cap for not being able to see; or excludes the ear when going for a walk. So too with every human being, no matter how limited or “different” they may seem – they all contribute to the whole; and they all serve a specific purpose:
Bahá’u’lláh compared the world to the human body. There is, indeed, no other model in phenomenal existence to which we can reasonably look. Human society is composed not of a mass of merely differentiated cells but of associations of individuals, each one of whom is endowed with intelligence and will; nevertheless, the modes of operation that characterize man’s biological nature illustrate fundamental principles of existence. Chief among these is that of unity in diversity. Paradoxically, it is precisely the wholeness and complexity of the order constituting the human body — and the perfect integration into it of the body’s cells — that permit the full realization of the distinctive capacities inherent in each of these component elements. No cell lives apart from the body, whether in contributing to its functioning or in deriving its share from the well-being of the whole. (Baha’i International Community, 1995 Mar 03, The Prosperity of Humankind)
In the Hidden Words, Baha’u’llah tells us we need to be even as one soul:
Since We have created you all from one same substance it is incumbent on you to be even as one soul, to walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth and dwell in the same land, that from your inmost being, by your deeds and actions, the signs of oneness and the essence of detachment may be made manifest. Such is My counsel to you, O concourse of light! Heed ye this counsel that ye may obtain the fruit of holiness from the tree of wondrous glory. (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 68)
He’s asking us to put ourselves in another person’s life, understand reality from their perspective and walk with them.
We are all connected through the perfect wisdom of God, whether our body and mind fits the “norm” or not:
The beings, whether great or small, are connected with one another by the perfect wisdom of God, and affect and influence one another. If it were not so, in the universal system and the general arrangement of existence, there would be disorder and imperfection. But as beings are connected one with another with the greatest strength, they are in order in their places and perfect. This subject is worthy of examination. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 246)
We are all interconnected and influence each other:
. . . the human body, all the members of which are connected and linked with one another with the greatest strength. How much the organs, the members and the parts of the body of man are intermingled and connected for mutual aid and help, and how much they influence one another! (Abdu’l-Bahá, Some Answered Questions, p. 244)
God has placed a crown on everyone’s head:
Bahá’u’lláh taught the Oneness of humanity; that is to say, all the children of men are under the mercy of the Great God. They are the sons of one God; they are trained by God. He has placed the crown of humanity on the head of every one of the servants of God. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Abdu’l-Bahá in London, p. 28)
Just because we are all one, doesn’t mean that we are all the same! Far from it!
Oneness, of course, should not be confused with sameness, which is a tedious, artificial thing, entirely alien to a world where no two grains of wheat have ever been alike. (Marzieh Gail, Dawn Over Mount Hira, p. 125)
Unity in Diversity
This is not just a faith of oneness, but a faith of unity in diversity too. We need diversity.
Diversity adds to the beauty:
Consider the flowers of a garden. Though differing in kind, color, form and shape, yet, inasmuch as they are refreshed by the waters of one spring, revived by the breath of one wind, invigorated by the rays of one sun, this diversity increaseth their charm and addeth unto their beauty. How unpleasing to the eye if all the flowers and plants, the leaves and blossoms, the fruit, the branches and the trees of that garden were all of the same shape and color! Diversity of hues, form and shape enricheth and adorneth the garden, and heighteneth the effect thereof. In like manner, when divers shades of thought, temperament and character, are brought together under the power and influence of one central agency, the beauty and glory of human perfection will be revealed and made manifest. (‘Abdul-Bahá, The World Order of Baha’u’llah, p. 41)
Diversity should be the cause of love and harmony:
The diversity in the human family should be the cause of love and harmony, as it is in music where many different notes blend together in the making of a perfect chord. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Advent of Divine Justice, p.32)
We need to work ceaselessly to develop a global consciousness based on unity in diversity, justice, love and service:
The Bahá’í world will work ceaselessly to develop in all its members – children, youth and adults – a . . . global consciousness based on the spiritual principles of unity in diversity, justice, love and service. (The Baha’i International Community, 1995 Apr 06, Conservation and Sustainable Development in the Baha’i Faith)
This includes education for all members of the community and immediate assimilation:
A unique administrative system, rooted in the concept of unity in diversity, both insists on education for all members of the community and allows for the immediate assimilation of all those who in the past have been deprived of their rights. (Baha’i International Community, 1993 Apr 05, Equality of Men & Women A New Reality)
The details of educational programs and activities aimed at promoting social integration will vary a great deal from the local to the national and international levels. However, in our increasingly interdependent world, all programs and initiatives must have certain aspects in common. (Baha’i International Community, 1994 Aug 23, Role of Education, Media Arts in Social Development)
We need to focus on people’s good qualities, and not on their shortcomings:
If a man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the ten and forget the one; and if a man has ten bad qualities and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, quoted in Baha’u’llah and the New Era, p. 83)
‘Abdu’l-Baha agrees, as this story illustrates:
One day, Abdul-Bahá a group of friends were under a grove of trees near Lake Michigan and He said: “Some of you may have observed that I have not called attention to any of your individual shortcomings. I would suggest to you, that if you shall be similarly considerate in your treatment of each other, it will be greatly conducive to the harmony of your association with each other. (Earl Redman, Abdul-Bahá in Their Midst, p. 117)
Finally, this is a Faith of justice.
If we truly want to be just, we need to choose for others what we want for ourselves:
And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbor that which thou choosest for thyself. (Baha’u’llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 29)
Baha’u’llah tells us that justice is “the best beloved of all things” and if we want to be close to Him we can’t neglect it:
The best beloved of all things in My sight is Justice; turn not away therefrom if thou desirest Me, and neglect it not that I may confide in thee. (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 2)
We achieve justice through seeing with our own eyes and knowing through our own knowledge:
By its aid thou shalt see with thine own eyes and not through the eyes of others, and shalt know of thine own knowledge and not through the knowledge of thy neighbor. Ponder this in thy heart; how it behooveth thee to be. Verily justice is My gift to thee and the sign of My loving-kindness. Set it then before thine eyes. (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 2)
It means letting go of the traditions of the past, and seeing things through God’s eyes:
If Thou wishest a discerning eye and seekest for a hearing ear, set thou aside that which thou hast heard from fathers and ancestors, for such things are imitation — and then seek for the truth with the utmost attention until the divine confirmation may reach thee and the matter may be properly disclosed unto thee. (Bahá’u’lláh, Baha’i World Faith, p. 387)
It means freeing ourselves from idle fancy and copying what others do and seeing everyone with the eyes of oneness:
The essence of all that We have revealed for thee is Justice, is for man to free himself from idle fancy and imitation, discern with the eye of oneness His glorious handiwork, and look into all things with a searching eye. (Baha’u’llah, Tablets of Baha’u’llah, p. 157)
Sometimes in our Baha’i communities, those fighting for inclusion are told to forgive and let go of their own wants and needs, but the life of mankind depends on justice and not on forgiveness:
The canopy of existence . . . resteth upon the pole of justice, and not of forgiveness, and the life of mankind dependeth on justice and not on forgiveness. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, The Advent of Divine Justice, p. 28)
As forgiveness is one of the attributes of the Merciful One, so also justice is one of the attributes of the Lord. The tent of existence is upheld upon the pillar of justice, and not upon forgiveness. The continuance of mankind depends upon justice and not upon forgiveness. (‘Abdul-Bahá, Principles of Bahá’í Administration, p. 37)
This is the work of everyone:
Each man has been placed in a post of honour, which he must not desert. A humble workman who commits an injustice is as much to blame as a renowned tyrant. Thus we all have our choice between justice and injustice. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 159)
Justice is not limited, it is a universal quality. Its operation must be carried out in all classes, from the highest to the lowest. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 159-160)
And the communities also have an important role in protecting the rights of everyone:
Then what Christ meant by forgiveness and pardon is not that, when nations attack you, burn your homes, plunder your goods, assault your wives, children, and relatives, and violate your honour, you should be submissive in the presence of these tyrannical foes, and allow them to perform all their cruelties and oppressions. No, the words of Christ refer to the conduct of two individuals towards each other: if one person assaults another, the injured one should forgive him. But the communities must protect the rights of man. (‘Abdul-Bahá, Principles of Bahá’í Administration, p. 37-38)
How do we get there?
How do we “walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth” without listening, and using the powers of our imagination to understand life from their perspective?
First we have to get rid of our egos; our attachment to wanting everything to be the way we want it to be.
Ali Nakhjavani tells a great story about how the ego gets in the way of us becoming one:
I was asked to say a few words to the dear South African believers who are here today. I thought I could tell you about a tablet, a very short tablet, revealed by Abdu’l-Bahá. The contents of this Tablet are as follows: the Master says the relationships of the believers to the Cause of God are of two kinds. One kind is like the relationship of the flower to the garden. The other relationship is that of the ray of the sun to the sun. “I hope”, Master says, “that your relationship will be of the second kind”. And that is the end of the Tablet!
Now, I have been thinking about this Tablet, and I have been wondering why Abdu’l-Bahá says that he prefers the second kind to the first kind. There is nothing wrong in being a flower in the garden of Baha’u’llah. In fact, we have prayers, “O God, make me a flower in Thy garden”. Why is it that Abdu’l-Bahá prefers the other type, which is the ray of the sun? The sun is the Cause of God, and the ray emanates from it. So I am offering my views, my humble views, about this beautiful, simple tablet of Abdu’l-Bahá.
I thought like this, I said, OK, we have a flower in a garden, the flower says, “I like this garden”, in other words, we say, we like the Cause. “I like this garden, I grow in this garden, I am proud of my garden, I am named after this garden”. (I am a Baha’i) OK, this is all good. We take the ray of the sun. The ray says exactly all these things, he says, “I am from the sun, I am proud of the sun, I depend everything, all my life on the sun,” etc, etc, exactly the same thing. But, if you bring one ray and you bring a second ray, what happens? The two rays become one. But if you bring one flower and you bring another flower, they remain two flowers.
If on an Assembly or a Baha’i committee, you bring nine rays and bring them together, they become one strong united ray. But if you bring nine flowers and bring them together, they are a beautiful bouquet, a beautiful flower arrangement, but they are nine different flowers, and everyone, if we credit the flower with some thinking, some intelligence and some ego, the flower will say, “Really, I don’t want to say, but I think I’m better than the others. I think I’m more beautiful, I think I have a more beautiful scent. I don’t want to talk about it, but… never mind…” This is what the flower will do. Why, because of the ego. The ego is inside. And believe me, this animal ego is in all of us. If we have 20 people in this room, there are 20 egos, no exception. And this ego will be with us till the very last breath. When we go to the next world, we separate, we say goodbye. But until that day, it is with us, it suggests things to us, it deviates us from the right path, because that is the animal in us, it wants everything for itself.
OK, let’s go to the ray now. The ray says, “I have no name, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have colour, it doesn’t matter. I am from the sun. My job is to be faithful and to carry the light of the sun, the heat of the sun. That is my duty. And I am doing it.” It is so pure that if you take a chair, and you go outside where there is the sun, you say, “I am sitting in the sun.” Ha! You are not sitting in the sun. The sun is up there! But the ray is so faithful, so pure, that it carries all the qualities of the sun, in a pure way, so much so that you say I am sitting in the sun.
Now, another difference is that the flower is on the receiving end.” Soil, give me good soil, water, give me good water, light and sun, I want more light.” It’s all the time receiving. “Give me.” What does the ray do? It doesn’t want anything, the ray gives, it helps the flowers to grow. Big difference between the two!! So, that is why I think Abdu’l-Bahá says, “It’s good to be a flower in the garden, but better still is to be a ray of the sun. This is my first choice for you, this is what I prefer you to be. To be a ray from the sun, so that you give to others, you are a way of helping others. You are not thinking of yourself. You are thinking of others, to assist others all the time, to give the light, to give the heat, the warmth.” (Ali Nakhjavani, Pilgrim’s Notes)
Here are some other ideas to consider:
Those who are born into this world and face excessive difficulty are worthy of our sympathy:
As to the souls who are born into this world radiant entities and who through excessive difficulty are deprived of great benefits and thus leave the world — they are worthy of all sympathy, for in reality this is worthy of regret. (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha v3, p. 542)
We need to see the honor and nobility in every human being:
Only if you perceive honour and nobility in every human being—this independent of wealth or poverty—will you be able to champion the cause of justice. (Universal House of Justice, Ridván Message 2008, paragraph 8)
We need to want for others what we want for ourselves:
Justice must be sacred, and the rights of all the people must be considered. Desire for others only that which you desire for yourselves. Then shall we rejoice in the Sun of Justice, which shines from the Horizon of God. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 159-160)
We need to treat everyone with compassion:
The Kingdom of God is founded upon equity and justice, and also upon mercy, compassion, and kindness to every living soul. Strive ye then with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 158)
We need to abandon all sense of superiority:
The recognition of the oneness of mankind would require the abandonment of all doctrines of superiority, many of which still persist implicitly. (Baha’i International Community, 1989 Feb 08, Eliminating Racism)
We need love and affection for everyone:
Above and beyond all this, a great love and fountain of affection shall bind and blend these two remote peoples . . . The world of humanity has been expressed by Him as a unit — as one family. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 36)
We need to be kind to everyone:
He is kind to all; why should we be unkind? All live beneath the shadow of His love; why should we hate each other? (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 169)
We need to uplift the cause of unity by becoming one heart:
You must become of one heart, one spirit and one susceptibility. May you become as the waves of one sea, stars of the same heaven, fruits adorning the same tree, roses of one garden in order that through you the oneness of humanity may establish its temple in the world of mankind, for you are the ones who are called to uplift the cause of unity among the nations of the earth. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to become united and agreed among ourselves:
First, you must become united and agreed among yourselves. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to be Willing to forfeit our lives in the pathway of other people’s happiness:
You must be exceedingly kind and loving toward each other, willing to forfeit life in the pathway of another’s happiness. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to be ready to sacrifice our possessions for others:
You must be ready to sacrifice your possessions in another’s behalf. The rich among you must show compassion toward the poor, and the well-to-do must look after those in distress. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to be the servant of others
Your utmost desire must be to confer happiness upon each other. Each one must be the servant of the others, thoughtful of their comfort and welfare.(Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to entirely forget ourselves:
In the path of God one must forget himself entirely. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to seek the good pleasure of others:
He must not consider his own pleasure but seek the pleasure of others. He must not desire glory nor gifts of bounty for himself but seek these gifts and blessings for his brothers and sisters. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need to offer ourselves as sacrifices:
It is my hope that you may become like this, that you may attain to the supreme bestowal and be imbued with such spiritual qualities as to forget yourselves entirely and with heart and soul offer yourselves as sacrifices for the Blessed Perfection. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 214-215)
We need more fellowship and love:
He said that man must recognize the oneness of humanity, for all in origin belong to the same household and all are servants of the same God. Therefore mankind must continue in the state of fellowship and love, emulating the institutions of God and turning away from satanic promptings, for the divine bestowals bring forth unity and agreement whereas satanic leadings induce hatred and war. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i World Faith, p. 233)
We need to reject deeply ingrained prejudices:
That humanity constitutes a single people is a truth that, once viewed with skepticism, claims widespread acceptance today. The rejection of deeply ingrained prejudices and a growing sense of world citizenship are among the signs of this heightened awareness. (Universal House of Justice, To the Baha’is of Iran, 2 March 2013)
We need to subordinate our impulses and interests:
It calls for a wider loyalty, for a larger aspiration than any that has animated the human race. It insists upon the subordination of national impulses and interests to the imperative claims of a unified world. (Shoghi Effendi, The World Order of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 41-42)
We need to respect the rights of everyone:
To preserve and honor diversity without making differences a cause for conflict requires a new way of thinking, based on respect for the rights of every individual. This new way of thinking, characterized some years ago as a “culture of human rights,” must be developed and supported by human rights education. (Baha’i International Community, 1995 Aug 07, Prevention of Discrimination Protection of Minorities)
We need to reconceptualize the relationships that sustain society:
For the principle of the oneness of humankind, as proclaimed by Baha’u’llah, asks not merely for cooperation among people and nations. It calls for a complete reconceptualization of the relationships that sustain society. (Universal House of Justice, To the Baha’is of Iran, 2 March 2013)
Long-term solutions will require a new and comprehensive vision of a global society, supported by new values. (Baha’i International Community, 1991 Aug 13, International Legislation for Environment Development)
We need to let go of the need for uniformity: It is inconsistent not only with any attempt to impose uniformity, but with any tendency towards excessive centralization. (Baha’i International Community, 1991 Aug 13, International Legislation for Environment Development)
We need to address inequities directed to ourselves and others, through lawful means:
Wherever they reside, Baha’is endeavour to uphold the standard of justice, addressing inequities directed towards themselves or towards others, but only through lawful means available to them, eschewing all forms of violent protest. (Universal House of Justice, To the Baha’is of Iran, 2 March 2013)
How Do We Help Others Get There?
Education, Training and Healing:
There are certain people who are ignorant; they must be educated. Some are like children; they must be trained and educated until they reach maturity. Others are sickly, intellectually ill, spiritually ill; they must be treated and healed. But all are the servants of God. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 169)
By starting with education, numerous possibilities for policies, goals and programs emerge:
The first example of a spiritually based indicator explores the application of the principle of unity in diversity to educational policy. Beginning with a vision of development that accepts both the possibility and the necessity of a united and peaceful world, unity in diversity is identified as a spiritual principle essential to the realization of that future. A policy area is then chosen: in this case, education. By considering the principle of unity in diversity in education, numerous possibilities for policies, goals and programs emerge, several of which might be pursued. (Baha’i International Community, 1998 Feb 18, Valuing Spirituality in Development)
Sometimes we need to sacrifice for others, in order to advance the whole, as this story illustrates:
One day as I was standing near the border of a little stream on Mt. Carmel, I noticed a number of locusts that had not yet developed full wings. These insects wishing to pass from my side of the stream to the other in order to procure some food, threw themselves forward, each one trying to emulate the other in flinging itself into the water, so that a bridge was formed in order that the others might pass over and this was accomplished; yet those who gave themselves as a bridge finally perished. Consider how much solidarity makes for life as compared to the fighting for self interest which destroys it. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Philosophy, p. 187-188)
None of this comes easy! Like everything in the Faith, it takes courage to cling to these standards and demonstrate them to others:
To discharge your responsibilities, you will have to show forth courage, the courage of those who cling to standards of rectitude, whose lives are characterized by purity of thought and action, and whose purpose is directed by love and indomitable faith. (The Universal House of Justice, message to the Paraguay Youth Congress, 2000)
Consequences of not being Inclusive
What happens when we are not inclusive?
Regard how numerous are the parts and members of the human organism, but the oneness of the spirit animating it keeps its various parts and elements together in perfect co-ordination and solidarity. It brings such a unity into the organism that were each member to be subjected to any injury or were it to become diseased, all the other members would sympathetically suffer, due to the existence of their perfect unity. (Baha’i Scriptures, p. 280)
The consequences of failing to respond appropriately will be disastrous:
The unifying, salutary effects of applying this principle to the redesign and development of communities the world over, would be incalculable, while the consequences of failing to respond appropriately to the challenges of an ever-contracting world will surely prove disastrous. (Baha’i International Community, 1996 Jun 07, Sustainable Communities in an Integrating World)
If we do not treat others with justice, God will not forgive us:
Withdraw your hands from tyranny, for I have pledged Myself not to forgive any man’s injustice. This is My covenant which I have irrevocably decreed in the preserved tablet and sealed with My seal. (Baha’u’llah, Hidden Words, Persian 64)
Benefits of Including Everyone
Learning to appreciate diversity of all sorts includes the following benefits:
We all prosper and grow:
Unity in diversity is at once a vision for the future and a principle to guide the world community in its response to these challenges. Not only must this principle come to animate relations among the nations of the planet, but it must also be applied within both local and national communities if they are to prosper and endure. (Baha’i International Community, 1996 Jun 07, Sustainable Communities in an Integrating World)
Misunderstandings will be removed and happiness guaranteed:
In proportion to the acknowledgment of the oneness and solidarity of mankind, fellowship is possible, misunderstandings will be removed and reality become apparent. Then will the light of reality shine forth, and when reality illumines the world, the happiness of humankind will become a verity. (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 327-328)
We will vindicate the truth that humanity is one
By the rectitude of their conduct, the sincerity of their love for their fellow human beings, and the ardour of their desire to serve the peoples of the world, may they vindicate the truth proclaimed by Baha’u’llah that humanity is one. (Universal House of Justice, 20 October 2008, to the Bahá’ís of the World)
It’s a sign that we’ve entered the age of maturity:
As you know from your study of the Baha’i writings, the principle that is to infuse all facets of organized life on the planet is the oneness of humankind, the hallmark of the age of maturity. (Universal House of Justice, To the Baha’is of Iran, 2 March 2013)
We will help raise civilization to a new level:
More importantly, by establishing the foundation for true co-operation, the recognition of this principle would raise civilization to a new level. (Baha’i International Community, 1989 Feb 08, Eliminating Racism)
We’ll be able to share power and responsibility without fear:
At this higher level, no one need fear oppression, even those who were formerly oppressors. The sharing of power and responsibility among all citizens can then be implemented without fear, through appropriate legal measures and equitable social and economic policies. (Baha’i International Community, 1989 Feb 08, Eliminating Racism)
We’ll be able to offer the entire world a model of unity in diversity:
You should strive to create a Bahá’í community which will offer to the entire world a vibrant model of unity in diversity. (The Universal House of Justice, Ridván 153, 1996 – North America)
We will learn to cherish people’s temperaments and talents, experiences and viewpoints, understanding that they contribute to the progress and well-being of society:
Unity in diversity stands in contrast to uniformity. It cherishes the natural diversity of temperament and talents among individuals as well as humanity’s variegated experiences, cultures and viewpoints, inasmuch as they contribute to the human family’s progress and well-being. (Baha’i International Community, 1998 Feb 18, Valuing Spirituality in Development)
We will become invincible champions of justice:
As you dedicate yourselves to healing the wounds with which your peoples have been afflicted, you will become invincible champions of justice. (The Universal House of Justice, message to the Paraguay Youth Congress, 2000)
Here are some prayers we can say, for our communities to become more inclusive:
O my God! O my God! Verily, these are servants at the threshold of Thy mercy, and maidservants at the door of Thy oneness. Verily, they have gathered in this temple to turn to Thy face of glory, holding to the hem of Thy garment and to Thy singleness, seeking Thy good pleasure and ascent into Thy Kingdom. They receive effulgence from the Sun of Reality in this glorious century, and they long for Thy goodwill in all great affairs. O Lord! Illumine their sight with a vision of Thy signs and riches, and quicken their ears with hearkening to Thy Word. Render their hearts replete with Thy love, and gladden their spirits with Thy meeting. Deign to bestow upon them spiritual good in Thine earth and heaven, and make them signs of unity among Thy servants in order that the real unity may appear and all may become one in Thy Cause and Kingdom. Verily, Thou art the Generous. Verily, Thou art the Mighty, the Spiritual. Thou art the Merciful, the Clement. (Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 193)
Bring them together again, O Lord, by the Power of Thy Covenant, and gather their dispersion by the Might of Thy Promise, and unite their hearts by the dominion of Thy Love! Cause them to love one another so as to sacrifice their spirits, expend their money and give up their desires for each other’s sake! O Lord, make to descend upon them quietness and tranquillity! Shower upon them the clouds of Thy Mercy in full abundance, and make them to characterize themselves with the characteristics of the spiritual! O Lord, hold us firm in Thy noble command, and bestow upon us Thy Gifts through Thy bounty, grace and beneficence! Verily, Thou art the Generous, the Merciful, and the Benevolent. (Baha’i Scriptures, p. 263)
O my God! O my God! Unite the hearts of Thy servants, and reveal to them Thy great purpose. May they follow Thy commandments and abide in Thy law. Help them, O God, in their endeavor, and grant them strength to serve Thee. O God! Leave them not to themselves, but guide their steps by the light of Thy knowledge, and cheer their hearts by Thy love. Verily, Thou art their Helper and their Lord. (Baha’u’llah, Baha’i Prayers, p. 203)
O my God! O my God! Verily, I invoke Thee and supplicate before Thy threshold, asking Thee that all Thy mercies may descend upon these souls. Specialize them for Thy favor and Thy truth.
O Lord! Unite and bind together the hearts, join in accord all the souls, and exhilarate the spirits through the signs of Thy sanctity and oneness. O Lord! Make these faces radiant through the light of Thy oneness. Strengthen the loins of Thy servants in the service of Thy kingdom.
O Lord, Thou possessor of infinite mercy! O Lord of forgiveness and pardon! Forgive our sins, pardon our shortcomings, and cause us to turn to the kingdom of Thy clemency, invoking the kingdom of might and power, humble at Thy shrine and submissive before the glory of Thine evidences.
O Lord God! Make us as waves of the sea, as flowers of the garden, united, agreed through the bounties of Thy love. O Lord! Dilate the breasts through the signs of Thy oneness, and make all mankind as stars shining from the same height of glory, as perfect fruits growing upon Thy tree of life.
Verily, Thou art the Almighty, the Self-Subsistent, the Giver, the Forgiving, the Pardoner, the Omniscient, the One Creator. (‘Abdu’l-Baha, Baha’i Prayers, p. 203-205)
For those who are battling for the right to be included in the Baha’i community, know that your efforts, no matter how miniscule, can uphold the standard:
Humanity is weary for want ofa pattern of life to which to aspire. A single soul can uphold a standard far above the low threshold by which the world measures itself. (Universal House of Justice, Ridvan Message 2012)
The actions you take today are the first step in a process that will take decades and centuries to unfold:
Yet, however promising the rise in collective consciousness may be, it should be seen as only the first step of a process that will take decades–nay, centuries–to unfold. (Universal House of Justice, To the Baha’is of Iran, 2 March 2013)
I’d like to leave you with the two most uplifting sentences ever written:
Have hope. It will not always be so. (Universal House of Justice, Ridvan Message 2015)
There will be a time when every Baha’i community welcomes those who are “different”.
What’s been your experience with inclusive Baha’i communities? Post your comments below!
This morning, one of the clients in my Bahá’í-inspired life coaching practice asked me: “Are you familiar with loneliness?” She went on to explain the tests she’s had within her family and concluded by asking: “How do you manage to keep your spirits up so as to be a support to others? How do you manage to bring Baha’u’llah into your life? How do you manage to keep Him in the centre of your life? It seems like so much of who I am needs to be “re-created” … is there still hope?”
I told her that I am divorced and live alone with my two cats. I have been estranged from my family of origin for over 20 years. My 25 year old son is working and going to school full time in a city 3 hours away and isn’t able to make time for me. I’ve moved so often that all of my friends are in other cities (provinces, countries). In my community, there are only 2 of us who attend Assembly meetings and feasts and in our tiny cluster of 25 souls, most of them are inactive. In my darkest moments, I wonder: if I died, how long would it take for anyone to notice? And I think that at age 52, I have potentially another 40 years of living without love.
When I get thinking that way, I’m reminded of this lamentation of Bahá’u’lláh on page 18 of Prayers and Meditations, and frequently use it myself:
Hasten, by Thy grace and bounty, my passing, O my Lord . . .
Yes, I know a thing or two about loneliness!
To help me not fall victim to feeling sorry for myself too often, I have done some research in the Bahá’í Writings, for insights and guidance. What follows is my response to her.
The first thing to know is that:
There is no harm in thy loneliness in those regions; for verily, the hosts of confirmation are thy help, thy Glorious Lord is thy protector and the angels of the Kingdom are thy fellow-speakers. Glad-tidings be unto thee for this! Blessed art thou for this! (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v1, p. 61)
Lonely with Unresponsive Family Members
God sees your loneliness and understands the pain you feel when you aren’t able to receive the love and companionship of those closest to you. I’m not sure from the reference, whose voice this is, or who it’s directed towards, but it’s easy to claim for ourselves:
O my Lord, Thou knowest my sighs, my cries and my anguish, the burning pain because of their separation; my great longing for their meeting; my yearning for their love; my desire for their remembrance and my anxiety to behold them. Day and night their remembrance is my treasure and my rose garden. When night comes my heart loves the memory of their illumined faces. I yearn for them as the nightingale yearns for the beautiful meadows. (Compilations : Baha’i Scriptures, p. 410)
Here’s a prayer you can pray for your family, who are unable to respond to your needs for companionship:
Behold, then, O my God, my loneliness among Thy servants and my remoteness from Thy friends and Thy chosen ones. I beseech Thee, by the showers of the clouds of Thy mercy, whereby Thou hast caused the blossoms of Thy praise and utterance and the flowers of Thy wisdom and testimony to spring forth in the hearts of all them that have recognized Thy oneness, to supply Thy servants and my kindred with the fruits of the tree of Thy unity, in these days when Thou hast been established upon the throne of Thy mercy. Hinder them not, O my Lord, from attaining unto the things Thou dost possess, and write down for them that which will aid them to scale the heights of Thy grace and favor. Give them, moreover, to drink of the living waters of Thy knowledge, and ordain for them the good of this world and of the world to come.
Thou art, verily, the Lord of Bahá, and the Beloved of his heart, and the Object of his desire, and the Inspirer of his tongue, and the Source of his soul. No God is there but Thee, the Inaccessible, the Most High. Thou art, verily, the Almighty, the Most Exalted, the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful. (Baha’u’llah : Prayers and Meditations by Baha’u’llah, p. 109-110)
Letting go of past traditions
Bahá’u’lláh came to teach us a new way of being, and despite what we hold most sacred, sometimes this means letting go.
This is the Day when the loved ones of God should keep their eyes directed towards His Manifestation, and fasten them upon what¬soever that Manifestation may be pleased to reveal. Certain traditions of bygone ages rest on no foundations whatever, while the notions entertained by past generations, and which they have recorded in their books, have, for the most part, been influenced by the desires of a corrupt inclination. (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, pp. 171-172.)
I think that one aspect of letting go of past traditions is letting go of the notion of the idea that “blood is thicker than water.” Shoghi Effendi tells us:
Deep as are family ties, we must always remember that the spiritual ties are far deeper; they are everlasting and survive death, whereas physical ties, unless supported by spiritual bonds, are confined to this life . . . (Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 218.)
Here is a prayer I often say, though some friends of mine say that the Báb is asking too much of us . . .
O my God, my Lord and my Master! I have detached myself from my kindred and have sought through Thee to become independent of all that dwell on earth and ever ready to receive that which is praiseworthy in Thy sight. Bestow on me such good as will make me independent of aught else but Thee, and grant me an ampler share of Thy boundless favours. Verily Thou art the Lord of grace abounding. (The Báb, Selections from the Writings of the Báb, p. 209).
So what can you do instead? ‘Abdul-Bahá gives us some guidance and words of comfort to consider:
If the friends and relatives are keeping themselves at a distance from thee, be thou not sad, for God is near to thee. Associate thou, as much as thou canst, with the relatives and strangers; display thou loving kindness; show thou forth the utmost patience and resignation. The more they oppose thee, shower thou upon them the greater justice and equity; the more they show hatred and opposition toward thee, challenge thou them with great truthfulness, friendship and rec¬onciliation. Praise be to God, thou art near to the Kingdom of Abhá! Rest thou assured. With all my soul and spirit, I am thy companion at all moments. Know thou this of a certainty! (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, pp. 557-558.)
Reflect on the Heroes and Martyrs
In the Writings, we’re often encouraged to reflect upon the heroes and martyrs of the Faith, to guide us in our lives, so this quote might help remind you that your loneliness has a bigger purpose and that God knows and understands, and will make something good come from it:
Furthermore, call to mind the shameful circumstances that have attended the martyrdom of Husayn. Reflect upon his loneliness, how, to outer seeming, none could be found to aid him, none to take up his body and bury it. And yet, behold how numerous, in this day, are those who from the uttermost corners of the earth don the garb of pilgrimage, seeking the site of his martyrdom, that there they may lay their heads upon the threshold of his shrine! Such is the ascendancy and power of God! Such is the glory of His dominion and majesty! (Bahá’u’lláh, Kitáb-i-Iqán, p. 128)
The following quote reminds us of the Greatest Holy Leaf, Bahiyyih Khánum, so reading the book about her life might help draw you closer to her and away from your loneliness:
She was a real mother to every one of us, a comforter in our pains and anxieties, and a friend in our moments of utter loneliness and despair. (Compilations : Bahiyyih Khánum, p. 68)
Understand your role as a spiritual “pioneer”
In this plan, the term “pioneer” is used more broadly than we have seen before. I know that you are a true pioneer of new ways of interacting with the institutions in your city, so here is a reminder of your “marching orders.
To remain at one’s post, to undergo sacrifice and hardship, loneliness and, if necessary, persecution, in order to hold aloft the torch of Bahá’u’lláh, is the true function of every pioneer. (Shoghi Effendi, Unfolding Destiny, p. 336)
Here is a prayer, which puts it into focus:
O Lord! Dispel the darkness of these corrupt desires, and illumine the hearts with the lamp of Thy love through which all countries will erelong be enlightened. Confirm, moreover, Thy loved ones, those who, leaving their homelands, their families and their children, have, for the love of Thy Beauty, traveled to foreign countries to diffuse Thy fragrances and promulgate Thy teachings. Be Thou their companion in their loneliness, their helper in a strange land, the remover of their sorrows, their comforter in calamity. Be Thou a refreshing draught for their thirst, a healing medicine for their ills and a balm for the burning ardor of their hearts.
Verily, Thou art the Most Generous, the Lord of grace abounding, and, verily, Thou art the Compassionate and the Merciful. (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of the Divine Plan, page 59)
Here is something you can say, when you have a hard time remembering to be thankful for your loneliness:
Unto Him do I render thanks and praise for the things He hath ordained, for My loneliness, and the anguish I suffer at the hands of these men who have strayed so far from Him. I have patiently sustained, and will continue to sustain, the tribulation that touched Me, and will put My whole trust and confidence in God. (Baha’u’llah : Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 274)
Here is a prayer that always brings me comfort:
O my Lord, my Beloved, my Desire! Befriend me in my loneliness and accompany me in my exile; remove my sorrow, cause me to be devoted to Thy Beauty, withdraw me from all else save Thee, attract me through Thy fragrances of holiness, cause me to be associated in Thy Kingdom with those who are severed from all else save Thee and who long to serve Thy Sacred Threshold and who stand to work in Thy Cause, and enable me to be one of Thy maid-servants who have attained to Thy good pleasure. Verily, Thou art the Gracious, the Generous! (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of Abdu’l-Baha Volume 3, p. 619)
Study prayers for clues
In the following prayer, we’re reminded that God sees our loneliness and can heal and transform it. As you study the prayer you will see that by asking for certain things, ‘Abdul-Bahá is telling us what we can do to allay it:
- Turn to God in prayer
- Let your heart overflow with love for His creatures
- Be a promoter of concord amongst His loved ones
- Nestle beneath the shade of His protecting wings
- Teach and praise God
- Remember God and be forgetful of self and ever mindful of what is His
The serenity prayer comes to mind:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference (or in this case, to know what belongs to you and what belongs to God).
Here’s the prayer:
O Lord, my God and my Haven in my distress! My Shield and my Shelter in my woes! My Asylum and Refuge in time of need and in my loneliness my Companion! In my anguish my Solace, and in my solitude a loving Friend! The Remover of the pangs of my sorrows and the Pardoner of my sins!
Wholly unto Thee do I turn, fervently imploring Thee with all my heart, my mind and my tongue, to shield me from all that runs counter to Thy will in this, the cycle of Thy divine unity, and to cleanse me of all defilement that will hinder me from seeking, stainless and unsullied, the shade of the tree of Thy grace. Have mercy, O Lord, on the feeble, make whole the sick, and quench the burning thirst.
Gladden the bosom wherein the fire of Thy love doth smolder, and set it aglow with the flame of Thy celestial love and spirit. Robe the tabernacles of divine unity with the vesture of holiness, and set upon my head the crown of Thy favor. Illumine my face with the radiance of the orb of Thy bounty, and graciously aid me in ministering at Thy holy threshold.
Make my heart overflow with love for Thy creatures and grant that I may become the sign of Thy mercy, the token of Thy grace, the promoter of concord amongst Thy loved ones, devoted unto Thee, uttering Thy commemoration and forgetful of self but ever mindful of what is Thine.
O God, my God! Stay not from me the gentle gales of Thy pardon and grace, and deprive me not of the wellsprings of Thine aid and favor. ‘Neath the shade of Thy protecting wings let me nestle, and cast upon me the glance of Thine all-protecting eye.
Loose my tongue to laud Thy name amidst Thy people, that my voice may be raised in great assemblies and from my lips may stream the flood of Thy praise. Thou art, in all truth, the Gracious, the Glorified, the Mighty, the Omnipotent. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha’i Prayers, p. 30-31)
Be in Constant Communion with God
In the following prayer, we’re reminded of our need to focus on being of service and in order to do this, we need to be in constant communion with God. When we allow Him to be our companion, we live in the spiritual realms and our physical loneliness slips away.
O Lord! Strengthen my back, enable me to serve Thee with the utmost endeavor, and leave me not to myself, lonely and helpless in these regions. O Lord! Grant me communion with Thee in my loneliness, and be my companion in these foreign lands. Verily, Thou art the Confirmer of whomsoever Thou willest in that which Thou desirest, and, verily, Thou art the All-Powerful, the Omnipotent. (Abdu’l-Baha : Tablets of the Divine Plan, Page 47)
Use the Greatest Name
The original of the following passage has never been found, so it’s not considered authentic text, but it certainly grabbed my attention and helped me to understand the wisdom of its use.
In this cry, all the cries of the universe are sounded, and the chord of Divine Reality is struck. The shout “Yá Bahá’u’l-Abhá” in this, the Day of its birth is of more profit to thee than all the knowledge of science and all the wealth of the earth. It is the rhythm of progress, the chord of creation, the melody of eternity, and the password to the Kingdom of God. Therefore, use it to establish thyself in the realm of Divine Trust. Speak it in thy solitude, cry it in thy joy, murmur it in thy grief and chant it in thy weakest moments – and it will give thee strength.
It is the cry that will bring the Supreme Concourse to the door of thy life, and which stations the loving trust of Abhá about thy soul. It opens the heavenly mysteries, manifests the colours, and solves the riddles of life. It absorbs all, encircles all, includes all.
To cry that phrase “O Thou Glory of the Most Glorious: is to sing in harmony with the Supreme Concourse, and to harmonize thyself with the holy “I Am” in His Court of divine omnipotent truth. It holds all there is of form, of spirit and of the world of creative thought.
This, the most Great Name, carries the highest vibrations, which make manifest the wisdom of the spiritual worlds. This utterance produces a spiritual result beyond all idle fancies and vain imaginations.
Give it to God
Thou seest, O my Lord, my dwelling-place in the heart of this mountain and Thou dost witness my forbearance . . . Yet the sorrow of solitude and loneliness prompteth me to invoke Thee through this prayer, perchance Thy trusted servants may become aware of my lamentations, may supplicate unto Thee on my behalf, and Thou wouldst graciously answer their prayers as a token of Thy grace and Thy favour. (Fire and Light Excerpts from the Bahá’í Sacred Writings, p. V)
In conclusion, I don’t think it’s possible to escape from our loneliness. It’s but one of the tests we are given in this world, but perhaps this quote will help remind you of a context to put it into:
Men may be made in the image of God, yet (as the presents it) the history of the tribes and peoples and nations of the world, of the Hebrews and the Gentiles, reflects at no time the order and harmony and the happiness of a divine world. It is a tale of turmoil and vicissitude, of struggle and trouble, of sorrow and loneliness and penitence, of bitter shame, and hopes lost and hearts broken.
Men dream of heaven and peace, they long for a better order of things than that which they have made. Prophetic promises of a great felicity, of a sure deliverance from the fears of life, and from its discords and its wrongs and its despairs, buoy up the fainting hearts of the generations and grow with the passing centuries more full and clear. But no nation ever walks with a whole heart in the ways of God or in the sunshine of His presence; by the multitudes happiness is only seen if at all in faint and far-off glimpses [but] . . . A happy ending to the history of man is from the beginning assured by the might of the One Sovereign Will who brought all things into existence. (George Townsend, Heart of the Gospel, p. 20)
In the words of ‘Abdul-Bahá, “This too shall pass.”
For more information on material ideas for combatting loneliness, please see part 2, to be posted in a couple of days.
In the meantime, what are your thoughts? Post your comments here:
In part 1, I explored some spiritual principles to consider when striving to overcome loneliness. Sometimes none of this seems to make a difference (or maybe it’s just that I forget to apply all of it!), so to walk the spiritual path with practical feet, here are some other tools I use:
Why are they so effective?
When we inhale through the nose, airborne molecules interact with the olfactory organs and, almost immediately, the brain. Molecules inhaled through the nose or mouth are also carried to the lungs and interact with the respiratory system. Thus, inhaled essential oils can affect the body through several systems and pathways.
During inhalation, odor molecules travel through the nose and affect the brain through a variety of receptor sites, one of which is the limbic system, which is commonly referred to as the “emotional brain.”
The limbic system is directly connected to those parts of the brain that control heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, memory, stress levels, and hormone balance (Higley & Higley, 1998). This relationship helps explain why smells often trigger emotions.
I buy mine from Young Living. You can read more at: http://www.youngliving.com/en_US/index.html
Although I’d love to be able to buy many more, the ones I currently use to counteract loneliness and feeling sorry for myself include:
- Live with Passion (when I want to remind myself of my intention to “go with the flow” and be “a flame in a dark place”)
- Magnify your Purpose (before every life coaching session!, Assembly meeting, or service opportunity)
- Valor (to unite the disparate voices within)
- Frankincense (to counteract despair)
- Sensation (when I want to enjoy every moment of an activity and enhance my feelings of connectedness)
- Joy (when I want to change my orientation from the physical world to the spiritual).
- Peace and Calming (to counteract anxiety and panic).
Bach Flower Remedies:
Fortunately I have the entire kit, so if you go to this website and fill out the form (it won’t take much time). http://www.ritecare.com/homeopathic/bach/Open%20Remedy%20Chooser.asp
Have a look at the remedies it suggests for you and if you like, I’d be happy to make up a bottle for you and send it to you. I’d appreciate $10 to cover the cost of postage and bottle.
Listen to Radio Nur:
I play this Bahá’í radio station all day long, so I can be exposed to uplifting messages, which remind me to turn to God as I sing along: http://radionur.com/10701.html
To counteract 50 years of negative messages programming my subconscious, I now listen to affirmations all night every night, and have their program running in the background on my computer. The company I buy them from is Think Right Now: www.thinkroghtnow.com/cmd.asp?af-92300
As you will see from the website, they have a lot to choose from, and they aren’t specific to loneliness. But whenever I fall victim to feeling sorry for myself, it’s usually the result of wrong thinking, which these affirmations help overcome, so I recommend taking a look at what they have to offer. I can’t speak highly enough of the CD’s or the company and have written to them twice to say thank you. You can read my letters here: https://susangammage.com/main-menu/testimonials-2/for-my-personal-story?preview=true&preview_id=294&preview_nonce=3f6d96d8ec
(my website is undergoing some changes so if this doesn’t work, please let me know)
Although I would like to buy more, the ones I am currently using include:
- Infinite Joy
- Freedom from Depression
- Dissolving Panic and Anxiety
- Releasing Fear of Failure
- Unstoppable Motivation
- Supreme Confidence
- The Leader’s Mindset
Have you read “The Shack” by Wm Paul Young? It is on the New York Times Bestseller list. If you haven’t read it, ask around your community. Someone is bound to have a copy to lend you. It’s the story of a man who meets with God and given a glimpse of the next world. In the book, God answers the age-old question about why bad things happen to good people.
The following quotes (attributed to God) really spoke to me. The comments in brackets are my editorial comments:
“Living unloved (living with violence and abuse of any kind often leaves us feeling unloved) is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly. Pain (including the emotional pain of loneliness) clips our wings and removes its ability to fly, and if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were ever created to fly in the first place”. (p. 97)
This reminds me of the Bahá’í prayer which begins:
O God! O God! This is a broken-winged bird and his flight is very slow — assist him so that he may fly toward the apex of prosperity and salvation, wing his way with the utmost joy and happiness throughout the illimitable space, raise his melody in Thy Supreme Name in all the regions, exhilarate the ears with this call, and brighten the eyes by beholding the signs of guidance. (Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of the Divine Plan, p. 89)
The following quote was a real turn-around for me in terms of my relationship to the “rules” or “shoulds” of the Bahá’í Faith. Because I didn’t have good role models for parents in terms of what constitutes good behaviour, I was delighted to find the guidance in the Bahá’í Writings, and clung to it rigidly. But in doing so, I was missing the “loving God” who is “closer than my life vein” and of course, I was unable to have a relationship with Him.
“Once you have a hierarchy (any hierarchy but in this case, we’re focusing on that between us and God) you need rules to protect and administer it, and then you need law and the enforcement of the rules and you end up with some chain of command or a system of order that destroys relationship rather than promotes it.” (p. 123) . . . Rules will never give you answers to the deep questions of the heart and they will never love you. (only relationships will) (p. 198)
Of course, we know that our purpose is to “know God and worship Him”. Obedience comes from our relationship and the grace of God and aligning our will with the will of God. Being rigid about following the laws only breeds superiority and judgments, which leads to disunity and separates us from God.
When I was putting together the quotes in part 1, I was looking at them with new eyes – those of a loving God – showering down His divine bounty – not telling me what to do.
Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because if you don’t know that I love you, you cannot trust me. (p. 126)
So perhaps what all of this is saying, is that it’s hard for us to have the kind of relationship with God which would alleviate our loneliness, because we haven’t had the proper foundation on which to trust Him. And in order to develop it, we need to focus more on His love and allow it to recreate us (instead of forcing our will on obedience). We know we’re never going to get it right all the time – the best we can hope for is to strive, little by little, day by day.
What are your thoughts? Post your comments here: