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How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

What is true love?

The essence of love is for man to turn his heart to the Beloved One, and sever himself from all else but Him, and desire naught save that which is the desire of his Lord.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 155)

The real and great love is the love of God. That is holy above the imaginations and thoughts of men.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Bahá’í World Faith, p. 365)

What is the love between two people?

But the love which sometimes exists between friends is not (true) love, because it is subject to transmutation; this is merely fascination. As the breeze blows, the slender trees yield. If the wind is in the East the tree leans to the West, and if the wind turns to the West the tree leans to the East. This kind of love is originated by the accidental conditions of life. This is not love, it is merely acquaintanceship; it is subject to change.  Today you will see two souls apparently in close friendship; tomorrow all this may be changed. Yesterday they were ready to die for one another, today they shun one another’s society! This is not love; it is the yielding of the hearts to the accidents of life. When that which has caused this ‘love’ to exist passes, the love passes also; this is not in reality love.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 180)

 How to think about heartbreak

O My servants! Sorrow not if, in these days and on this earthly plane, things contrary to your wishes have been ordained and manifested by God, for days of blissful joy, of heavenly delight, are assuredly in store for you. Worlds, holy and spiritually glorious, will be unveiled to your eyes. You are destined by Him, in this world and hereafter, to partake of their benefits, to share in their joys, and to obtain a portion of their sustaining grace. To each and every one of them you will, no doubt, attain.   Gleanings From the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p.232

Why do we get our hearts broken?

Anybody can be happy in the state of comfort, ease, health, success, pleasure and joy; but if one be happy and contented in the time of trouble, hardship and prevailing disease, it is the proof of nobility.  Abdu’l-Baha, Tablets of Abdul-Baha Abbas, Baha’i Publishing Committee, 1909 edition Pages: 730

What to do when your heart is broken

Turn towards the “Best Lover”:

There is nothing greater or more blessed than the Love of God! It gives healing to the sick, balm to the wounded, joy and consolation to the whole world, and through it alone can man attain Life Everlasting. (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 82)

By the life of God! A single drop of the ocean of His love is more profitable unto thee than the earth and that which is thereupon, because this will vanish and perish, but that drop of love will remain eternally and everlasting in the worlds of God.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá v3, p. 669)

In a letter written on his behalf, Shoghi Effendi uses the analogy of the plant turning in the direction of the sun to explain the spiritual significance of turning towards the
Qiblih:

…just as the plant stretches out to the sunlight–from which it receives life and growth–so we turn our hearts to the Manifestation of God, Bahá’u’lláh, when we pray; … we turn our faces … to where His dust lies on this earth as a symbol of the inner act.  (Bahá’u’lláh, The Kitab-i-Aqdas, p. 169)

Understand just how much He loves us:

He gave us life because He loved us so much:

O Son of Man! Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty. My love is in thee, know it, that thou mayest find me near unto thee. (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 3).

O Son of Man!  I loved thy creation, hence I created thee.  Wherefore, do thou love Me, that I may name thy name and fill thy soul with the spirit of life.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 4).

O SON OF THE WONDROUS VISION!  I have breathed within thee a breath of My own Spirit, that thou mayest be My lover. Why hast thou forsaken Me and sought a beloved other than Me? (Baha’u’llah, The Arabic Hidden Words 19)

His eye of favors is directed towards us:

Know thou that, verily, the eye of favors is directed to thee and is beholding thee with a divine glance, so that thou mayest, with clear eyes, see the lights of the Kingdom upon the horizon. Remember, at all times, this great favor and thank thy Lord and supplicate to Him every day.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá v1, p. 132)

Through this love, we receive eternal life:

There are four kinds of love. The first is the love that flows from God to man; it consists of the inexhaustible graces, the Divine effulgence and heavenly illumination. Through this love the world of being receives life. Through this love man is endowed with physical existence, until, through the breath of the Holy Spirit—this same love—he receives eternal life and becomes the image of the Living God. This love is the origin of all the love in the world of creation.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Paris Talks, p. 180)

Understand the bounties and blessings of losing a loved one:

Live free of love, for its very peace is anguish; Its beginning is pain, its end is death. Peace be upon him who followeth the Right Path!  (Bahá’u’lláh, The Seven Valleys, p. 41)

And if, confirmed by the Creator, the lover escapes from the claws of the eagle of love, he will enter THE VALLEY OF KNOWLEDGE and come out of doubt into certitude, and turn from the darkness of illusion to the guiding light of the fear of God. His inner eyes will open and he will privily converse with his Beloved; he will set ajar the gate of truth and piety, and shut the doors of vain imaginings.  (Bahá’u’lláh, The Seven Valleys, p. 11)

Love is a veil betwixt the lover and the beloved.  (Bahá’u’lláh, The Four Valleys, p. 60)

Play Music

…. the Manifested Light, Baha’u’llah, in this glorious period has revealed in Holy Tablets that singing and music are the spiritual food of the hearts and souls. In this dispensation, music is one of the arts that is highly approved and is considered to be the cause of the exaltation of sad and desponding hearts. (‘Abdu’l-Baha, Star of the West, Volume 9, p. 131)

Forgive

. . . if a person falls into errors for a hundred-thousand times he may yet turn his face to you, hopeful that you will forgive his sins; for he must not become hopeless, neither grieved nor despondent. This is the conduct and the manner of the people of Bahá’. (Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of Abdu’l-Bahá v2, p. 436)

Avoid Gossip

He must never seek to exalt himself above any one, must wash away from the tablet of his heart every trace of pride and vain-glory, must cling unto patience and resignation, observe silence and refrain from idle talk. For the tongue is a smoldering fire, and excess of speech a deadly poison. Material fire consumeth the body, whereas the fire of the tongue devoureth both heart and soul. The force of the former lasteth but for a time, whilst the effects of the latter endureth a century. (Baha’u’llah, The Book of Certitude, p. 193)

Remember, above all, the teaching of Baha’u’llah concerning gossip and unseemly talk about others. Stories repeated about others are seldom good. A silent tongue is the safest. Even good may be harmful, if spoken at the wrong time, or to the wrong person.   (Abdu’l-Baha, Abdu’l-Baha in London, p. 125)

That seeker should, also, regard backbiting as grievous error, and keep himself aloof from its dominion, inasmuch as backbiting quencheth the light of the heart, and extinguisheth the life of the soul. He should be content with little, and be freed from all inordinate desire.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 264)

Service

O people of God! Do not busy yourselves in your own concerns; let your thoughts be fixed upon that which will rehabilitate the fortunes of mankind and sanctify the hearts and souls of men.  (Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah, p. 93-94)

Be not the slave of your moods, but their master. But if you are so angry, so depressed and so sore that your spirit cannot find deliverance and peace even in prayer, then quickly go and give some pleasure to someone lowly or sorrowful, or to a guilty or innocent sufferer! Sacrifice yourself, your talent, your time, your rest to another, to one who has to bear a heavier load than you. (The Research Department has found that these words were attributed to Abdu’l-Baha in an unpublished English translation of notes in German by Dr. Josephine Fallscheer taken on 5 August 1910. As the statement is a pilgrim note, it cannot be authenticated)

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

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Showing our Aloofness

Increasingly, as time goes by, the characteristics of the Bahá’ís will be that which captures the attention of their fellow-citizens. They must show their aloofness from the hatreds and recriminations which are tearing at the heart of humanity, and demonstrate by deed and word their profound belief in the future peaceful unification of the entire human race. (From a letter dated 26 October 1941 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, in Living the Life, p. 17)

In the past few weeks, there has been an explosion of craziness around people hoarding items like toilet paper in fear of the pandemic.  Pictures abound about grocery stores with empty shelves and people fighting over the last item of something.  Has the world gone mad?  Bahá’ís definitely have an opportunity to show the world that we have something to offer in the days ahead.

As we work to elevate the conversations around us, let us remember that God is in charge and everything that happens is bringing us closer to uniting the world.  The governments of the world are learning from the lessons of those countries who have gone through it before us.  China is lending a hand to Italy.  Italy is educating the west about how to prepare and the west is listening and taking action.  People everywhere are going into voluntary seclusion.  Neighbors are reaching out to neighbors.  This is exciting news!  If we can figure out how to make a united effort as individuals and governments to overcome this hurdle, surely we can make a similar effort to stop global warming, end war and achieve world peace at last.  If a world crisis which affects everyone on the planet can give us the impetus to overcome our inertia and move forward to what might be our promised collective destiny, then I say bring it on!

Knowing I can demonstrate my profound belief in the future peaceful unification of the entire human race during this crisis, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

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Race Issues Require a Hundred Times More Consideration

It is difficult for the friends always to remember that in matter[s] where race enters, a hundred times more consideration and wisdom in handling situations is necessary than when an issue is not complicated by this factor.  (Shoghi Effendi, Pupil of the Eye, p. 87)

Even though Baha’u’llah called for the removal of prejudice nearly 200 years ago, and even though important progress has been made, it’s puzzling to me that racial tensions seem to be increasing rather than decreasing.  When we love and value the diversity in the animal and plant kingdoms, what makes us see the variations in skin tones in the human kingdom any different?

Both sides have prejudices to overcome.  Here’s what Shoghi Effendi tells us has to be done:

Let the white man:

  • make a supreme effort in their resolve to contribute their share to the solution of this problem
  • abandon once for all their usually inherent and at times subconscious sense of superiority
  • correct their tendency towards revealing a patronizing attitude towards the members of the other race
  • persuade them through their intimate, spontaneous and informal association with them of the genuineness of their friendship and the sincerity of their intentions
  • master their impatience of any lack of responsiveness on the part of a people who have received, for so long a period, such grievous and slow-healing wounds.

Let the Negroes, through a corresponding effort on their part show by every means in their power:

  • the warmth of their response
  • their readiness to forget the past
  • their ability to wipe out every trace of suspicion that may still linger in their hearts and minds.

Let neither think that:

  • the solution of so vast a problem is a matter that exclusively concerns the other
  • such a problem can either easily or immediately be resolved
  • they can wait confidently for the solution of this problem until the initiative has been taken, and the favorable circumstances created, by agencies that stand outside the orbit of their Faith
  • anything short of genuine love, extreme patience, true humility, consummate tact, sound initiative, mature wisdom, and deliberate, persistent, and prayerful effort, can succeed in blotting out the stain which this patent evil has left on the fair name of their common country.

Let them rather believe, and be firmly convinced, that:

  • on their mutual understanding, their amity, and sustained cooperation, must depend, more than on any other force or organization operating outside the circle of their Faith, the deflection of that dangerous course so greatly feared by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, and the materialization of the hopes He cherished for their joint contribution to the fulfillment of that country’s glorious destiny. (Shoghi Effendi, Advent of Divine Justice, p. 40)

We’ve got a lot of work to do, but now we know what our marching orders consist of, and what exactly has to be done to show “a hundred times more consideration and wisdom” than we have in the past.

Knowing there is something concrete I can do to eliminate prejudice, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

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Praying for Those Who’ve Hurt Us

O God, my God! Lowly, suppliant and fallen upon my face, I beseech Thee with all the ardor of my invocation to pardon whosoever hath hurt me, forgive him that hath conspired against me and offended me, and wash away the misdeeds of them that have wrought injustice upon me. Vouchsafe unto them Thy goodly gifts, give them joy, relieve them from sorrow, grant them peace and prosperity, give them Thy bliss and pour upon them Thy bounty.  Thou art the Powerful, the Gracious, the Help in Peril, the Self-Subsisting!  (Abdu’l-Bahá, The Will and Testament, p. 19)

‘Abdu’l-Bahá teaches “If someone commits an error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him.”  (Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 453)  For a long time I harbored a LOT of anger and resentment and bitterness to those who abused me as a child and stole my adulthood.  I couldn’t “instantly forgive”.  I wasn’t ready to let them off the hook.  I wanted justice.  I wanted revenge!  Slowly, I learned about the importance of forgiveness, not for the other person, but for ourselves.  I wanted peace in my heart.  I wanted to be obedient to ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s injunction.  For a long time, the most I could do was to ask God to forgive them for me, because I couldn’t (or wouldn’t). I was happy to find this prayer when I needed it.

I love that it asks God to forgive but then goes an important step further – that He give them 6 things:

  • His goodly gifts
  • Joy
  • To be relieved from sorrow
  • peace and prosperity
  • His bliss
  • His bounty

Then He reminds us that He has the power and is gracious enough to use it for me.  He’s the one I turn to when my soul and heart are in peril and He’s all I need.  I love the endings to these prayers too.  They help me draw closer to God as I think that if He’s willing to give His enemies these gifts, please God, may He give them to me too.

Knowing how to pray for those who hurt me, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

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Molding the World and Being Affected By It

We cannot segregate the human heart from the environment outside us and say that once one of these is reformed everything will be improved.  Man is organic with the world.  His inner life molds the environment and is itself also deeply affected by it . . . Through them [the Baha’i teachings] will the human heart be changed, and also our social environment provides the atmosphere in which we can grow spiritually and reflect in full the light of God.  (on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, Compilation of Compilations, V1, #3.3)

I had to read this quote several times before I thought I might understand what Shoghi Effendi is saying.  Starting from the end and moving backwards, it reminds me that my social environment provides the atmosphere in which I can grow spiritually, but it also deeply affects my inner life.

As a highly sensitive introvert, I can only be out in the world a short time before the world’s negativity draws me under like an undertow and I need to isolate myself for awhile before I can regain my equilibrium and go out into the world again.  I’m like a cell phone that’s near the end of its life, unable to hold a charge for very long without needing to be plugged in again.

I used to compare myself to others, and to other Writings which urge us to be more and do more, which fed my addiction to beating myself up.  Now I’m more gentle with myself, forgiving myself, understanding that God created me as an introvert, and gave me unique tests to shape my character.  He knows my weakness and frailties and yet, He chose me to be part of His army of light, so it’s OK to need time to recharge my battery.

Now that I’m conscious of my own motives and God’s mercy and forgiveness, there’s no need to beat myself up, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book  Learning How to Forgive

 

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A New Way to Look at Forgiveness

The peerless example of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá merits close scrutiny in your quest for a sense of forgiveness; His abiding love for humanity, despite its wayward­ness and perversity, enabled Him to manifest sincere compassion and magnanimity to those who had brought Him distress and hardship.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 9 September, 1992)

This quote was from a letter written to me, at a time when I couldn’t forgive my parents for the abuse perpetrated on me as a child, yet wanting to “get it right” as a “good Baha’i”.  As a result, I researched many stories about how ‘Abdu’l-Baha forgave, which you can read in an earlier posting.

To sum up, He forgave with compassion and magnanimity; He forgave without wanting others to speak about it; He forgave by looking at situations with love; He forgave with kindness; He forgave through generosity; He forgave by giving gifts and He forgave by spending time with them.  On the other hand, there were times when He too, ran out of patience.  The idea that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá could run out of patience was very reassuring!  We’re held to this standard, but He too had His limits.

Knowing different ways on how to forgive, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Learning How to Forgive

 

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