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Children Learn First to Obey their Parents, and then to Obey God

Parents must exert every effort to rear their offspring to be religious, for should the children not attain this greatest of adornments, they will not obey their parents, which in a certain sense means that they will not obey God. (Bahá’u’lláh, Bahá’í Education, p. 6)

Children learn to be obedient to their parents first because they are the only authority figure they know. This allegiance is then transferred to God. For children like me, who grew up with abusive parents, who never received love or mercy or forgiveness, the concept of a loving God is just an intellectual knowing.

I’m 63 and my parents are long dead, but I’m still waiting for God’s punishment and have driven myself into burnout and adrenal exhaustion trying to earn enough spiritual brownie points to earn a place in heaven.

Just this week someone helped me finally see why, after being a loyal, devoted and deepened Bahá’í for nearly 40 years, I react so strongly and negatively to Ruhi and letters from our beloved House of Justice: I’ve seen them as a growing list of tasks from God (my Father), which I have to complete on time, perfectly or I will be punished by God or His representatives on earth (the Institutions). It’s been a terrible way to live! Thank God I now understand!

Never having personal experience with anyone approaching the All-Loving, the All-Merciful or the Ever-Forgiving, I can step out in faith, trusting God to heal this deep and far-reaching primal wound, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

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Self Image

 O Son of Spirit! Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Arabic 22)

Recently I was studying the long obligatory prayer with a Bahá’í friend and we noted that in the preface to a paragraph near the end, Bahá’u’lláh asks us to “rise and say:  “O God, my God!  My back is bowed by the burden of my sins, and my heedlessness hath destroyed me.”  It’s always seemed a strange posture to take when talking about my sins.  Normally I would want to crumble, turn in with shame and refuse to look Him in the eye, but no.  He won’t let me do that.  He wants me to stand strong and tall before Him when admitting to my sins.  He wants me to see my nobility before Him.

We’ve all been created noble.  We’ve all been created with a lower and higher nature.  We’ve all been created as sinners.  We’ve all been created with free will.  We’ve all been created weak.  God knows that we are going to abase ourselves because of our weakness or stubbornness or ignorance.  It’s all part of the Divine Plan.  But it’s also part of His plan that we don’t define ourselves by all the ways we fall short in our quest for obedience.  We rise, because we know we’ve been forgiven before we ever transgressed.   We rise because of God’s love for us, whether we believe and accept it or not.

Knowing that God doesn’t judge me as harshly as I judge myself, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

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Understanding our Reality

Do thou reckon thyself only a puny form when within thee the universe is folded?  (Bahá’u’lláh, Seven Valleys, p. 34)

There are so many places in the Bahá’í Writings that talk of the reality of our being, and yet I continue to abase myself by focusing on my weakness and my frailty.  I do (most of the time) reckon myself a puny form, but this quote reminds me that God is closer to me than my life-vein and when I lean on Him for support, I can do anything.

Several years ago I was serving as a travel teacher in Canada’s arctic and got frost bite on my finger tips.  Now, whenever they are cold (every winter, even at 0 degrees Celsius or 32 degrees Fahrenheit, as I discovered today), they are so painful I can almost cry out with the pain.  I was in the middle of my walk and still had more than half an hour to get home.  I was doing everything I could think of to warm up my fingers, curling them up in my gloves, pulling my sleeve down over my hands, making space in my gloves between the ends of the fingers) and so on.  Finally, I was inspired to ask God to warm up my fingers and He did!  The pain disappeared and I was able to get home, enjoying the rest of my walk.  I think this kind of miracle is available to any of us, if we remember who we are.

Remembering that with God’s strength, all things are possible, I am grateful!

What miracles have you seen when you rely on God?  What else jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

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When Not to be Kind

 Strive ye, then, with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind – except for those who have some selfish, private motive, or some disease of the soul. Kindness cannot be shown the tyrant, the deceiver, or the thief, because, far from awak­ening them to the error of their ways, it maketh them to continue in their perversity as before. No matter how much kindliness ye may expend upon the liar, he will but lie the more, for he believeth you to be deceived, while ye understand him but too well, and only remain silent out of your extreme compassion.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Art of Living, p. 74)

I’m helping a friend deal with this situation today.  She’s chosen to not attend her mother’s funeral because an abusive brother has seized control of the mother’s assets and charged her with a crime she didn’t commit.  She’s been made to feel unwelcome at the funeral.  It’s a hard day for her and for me as it brings up a lot of issues around my own brothers doing something similar, causing me to be notified of my mother’s (and father’s) deaths too late to attend, and resulting in my being cut out of my mother’s will too.  We have both chosen to act on this injunction:  to remain silent (and stay away so she isn’t tempted) out of extreme compassion for her own poor self.

Life is not fair!  There are people who are tyrants, liars and thieves and people who have selfish, private motives and diseases of the soul.  In these situations we can be confused about how to act.  Our first thought, after the shock wears off and we come out of denial about what’s been happening, is to want justice.  When we encounter the system in place in our societies today, we are further shocked to discover that the so-called “justice” system is in fact a “legal” system.  Big difference!

In other places in the Baha’i Writings, we see that God has pledged never to forgive another man’s injustice (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words Persian 64)

Knowing I can leave justice in God’s hands, I can let go of my need for revenge, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

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Contact with Godly People

 O My Son! The company of the ungodly increaseth sorrow, whilst fellowship with the righteous cleanseth the rust from off the heart.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Persian 56)

O Son Of Dust! Beware! Walk not with the ungodly and seek not fellowship with him, for such companionship turneth the radiance of the heart into infernal fire.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Persian 57)

Growing up in an abusive home set me up for a lifetime of attracting the wrong kinds of people in my life, and finding the Bahá’í Faith reversed that tendency.  Sure, there are Bahá’ís who are abusive and hurt others, but by and large it’s inspiring to walk into a Bahá’í gathering and feel loved and accepted; to know that we’re all trying in our own limited ways to bring about the Most Great Peace.

I’ve read that our biggest spiritual tests come from other Bahá’ís, and our biggest growth comes from serving on Assemblies.  I think this is what Bahá’u’lláh means by “fellowship with the righteous cleanseth the rust from off the heart.”  It’s through rubbing up against other people’s weaknesses, for the sake of God, that we grow in our ability to love and worship God and develop the virtues we need in the next world.  I’d rather have that kind of test, than the test of hanging around the ungodly increase sorrow and have the radiance of my heart turned into infernal fire.

Knowing why it’s better to hang out with Godly people, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Abuse – Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

 

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When to Leave a Marriage

There is a case recorded where ‘Abdu’l-Bahá wrote to a Western believer who had sought His advice. She was told that she should remain faithful and forbearing towards her husband but, should his cruelty become unendurable, she should leave him to himself and live separately from him, as this was better and more accept­able.  (From a letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice to an individual believer, 22 July, 1987)

We know from the Bahá’í Writings that even though divorce is “abhorred by God; “strongly condemned”; “very strongly frowned upon; “only under rare and urgent, very exceptional and unbearable circumstances be resorted to”; and that “you should … make every effort to hold your marriage together, especially for the sake of your children”,  it’s also “permissible after “prayer and self-sacrificing effort” and after “the lapse of one full year”.  When my marriage was over, I often wondered:  Are there exceptions to the rule?  That’s why this quote was so helpful.

Although my husband wasn’t deliberately cruel, his actions inadvertently triggered my childhood trauma and I no longer felt safe in the marriage.  It was a great comfort to know that while being faithful and forbearing towards him, that leaving him to himself and living separately was better and more acceptable in God’s eyes. This year of patience (or year of waiting) gave me the time I needed to consult with the Institutions, deepen in the Writings on marriage and divorce, pray and determine whether or not I felt “irreconcilable aversion and antipathy”.

Knowing I belong to a Faith that understands my situation and gives me guidance on what to do, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence  Kindle

 

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