Select Page

For Every Crisis, there’s Always a Victory

Remember My days during thy days, and My distress and banishment in this remote prison.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Bahá’í Prayers, p. 210)

When I was in the deepest despair, remembering traumatic events of my childhood, I came across this quote, which helped to lift me out of my “self”.  I was feeling a lot of “poor me” and “why did this have to happen to me”, and then I had to stop and remember Bahá’u’lláh’s days.

Bahá’u’lláh was born into a wealthy family and was expected to follow his father into an important position in the government of Persia (Iran).  He didn’t want the position or the power.  As a result, His life included a series of imprisonments, and banishments.  At one point He was imprisoned for four months in an underground reservoir for a public bath, with its only outlet a single passage down three steep flights of stone steps. When He was freed from prison, He and His family were banished four times, sometimes on foot over the mountains in the middle of winter without enough food or proper clothing.  He was discredited by His uncle, poisoned by his jealous half-brother and witnessed the death of His son.  He was betrayed by people He trusted, stoned, and isolated from the Believers.  He was the victim of ignorance, injustice, cruelty and fanaticism.  To protect the Faith from the efforts of His half-brother, He even lived as a hermit for 2 years.  But every crisis was followed by victory, and this, I believe, is what is important to remember.

Although my repressed memories included all the positive and neutral memories too, once they came back, I was able to see that, like Bahá’u’lláh, there were times in my life that were peaceful, and activities that weren’t abusive.  From anger I learned to find my voice and take action.  From poverty I was protected from materialism and learned to rely on God.  From estrangement I gained knowledge of myself, and through it, knowledge of God. From being silenced, I was protected from backbiting and gossip.

Knowing I can focus on the victories instead of the negative things that happened to me, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Strengthening Your Relationship with God

 

Help Keep This Site Alive

 

 

When Not to be Kind

 Strive ye, then, with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind – except for those who have some selfish, private motive, or some disease of the soul. Kindness cannot be shown the tyrant, the deceiver, or the thief, because, far from awak­ening them to the error of their ways, it maketh them to continue in their perversity as before. No matter how much kindliness ye may expend upon the liar, he will but lie the more, for he believeth you to be deceived, while ye understand him but too well, and only remain silent out of your extreme compassion.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Divine Art of Living, p. 74)

I’m helping a friend deal with this situation today.  She’s chosen to not attend her mother’s funeral because an abusive brother has seized control of the mother’s assets and charged her with a crime she didn’t commit.  She’s been made to feel unwelcome at the funeral.  It’s a hard day for her and for me as it brings up a lot of issues around my own brothers doing something similar, causing me to be notified of my mother’s (and father’s) deaths too late to attend, and resulting in my being cut out of my mother’s will too.  We have both chosen to act on this injunction:  to remain silent (and stay away so she isn’t tempted) out of extreme compassion for her own poor self.

Life is not fair!  There are people who are tyrants, liars and thieves and people who have selfish, private motives and diseases of the soul.  In these situations we can be confused about how to act.  Our first thought, after the shock wears off and we come out of denial about what’s been happening, is to want justice.  When we encounter the system in place in our societies today, we are further shocked to discover that the so-called “justice” system is in fact a “legal” system.  Big difference!

In other places in the Baha’i Writings, we see that God has pledged never to forgive another man’s injustice (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words Persian 64)

Knowing I can leave justice in God’s hands, I can let go of my need for revenge, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read through today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Abuse and Violence

 

Help Keep This Site Alive

Why We Avoid Abusers

Smooth and insidious are these snakes, these whisperers of evil, artful in their craft and guile. Be ye on your guard and ever wakeful! . . . Act ye with all circumspection!  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, p. 314)

On the other hand there are some persons whose very respiration extinguishes the light of faith; whose conversation weakens firmness and steadfastness in the Cause of God; whose company diverts one’s attention from the kingdom of Abhá.  (‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Star of the West, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 25)

While these quotes don’t necessarily refer to those who abuse others, in my recovery, I took them that way.  I was happy to see that ‘Abdu’l-Baha understood that those who hurt me were “smooth and insidious whisperers or evil, artful in their craft and guile”.  It’s as if they had been trained to do what they did, and maybe they were.

In my recovery I’ve learned that “hurt people hurt people”, so when I hear the stories of my perpetrators’s lives, I can have more understanding of how they were reenacting what they’d been taught to do.  Nevertheless, being around them as an adult was confusing and for a time, I did lose my firmness and steadfastness in the Cause of a God I could no longer believe in.

Now, as I’ve become awake, I need to remember to be on my guard and act with circumspection, and surround myself with those who remind me of the grace and bounty and loving-kindness of a merciful God every day.

Losing my naivete about people’s characters and knowing I have permission to steer clear of them, I am grateful.

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Overcoming Violence and Abuse   Kindle

 

 Help Keep This Site Alive

 

Appeasing the Anger of the Heart

But the body politic has the right to preserve and to protect. It holds no grudge and harbours no enmity towards the murderer, but chooses to imprison or punish him solely to ensure the protection of others. The purpose is not revenge but a punishment through which the body politic is protected. Otherwise, were both the victim’s heirs and the community to forgive and return good for evil, the wrongdoers would never cease their onslaught and a murder would be committed at every moment—nay, bloodthirsty individuals would, like wolves, entirely destroy the flock of God. The body politic is not prompted by ill will in meting out its punishment; it acts without prejudice and does not seek to gratify a sense of vengeance. Its purpose in inflicting the punishment is to safeguard others and to prevent the future commission of such vile actions.  (Abdu’l-Baha, Some Answered Questions, 2014 ed., p. 77)

To me, this quote is about justice.  In an earlier translation the word “body politic” was “community”, which seems clearer.  What this suggests is that it’s my job as a victim to forgive and return good for evil and the community’s job to imprison and protect.  The community imprisons and punishes evil-doers, not out of revenge or enmity, but to protect others and prevent more wrong-doing.

In the past, grudges were held for centuries and passed down from one generation to another, and punishments given out of revenge and vengeance.  Even today, many employees in penal institutions treat prisoners badly because they don’t deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.  When I remember to leave justice in the hands of the Institutions and trust God to deal with those who have hurt me, I am free to forgive and move on with my life.

Knowing that I’m not responsible for justice, I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book  Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness

 

Help Keep This Site Alive

 

Contact with the Ungodly  

Treasure the companionship of the righteous and eschew all fellowship with the ungodly.  (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Persian 3)

Shoghi Effendi explains this better than I can:

In the passage ‘eschew all fellowship with the ungodly, ‘Bahá’u’lláh means that we should shun the company of those who disbelieve in God and are wayward. The word ‘ungodly’ is a reference to such perverse people. The words ‘Be thou as a flame of fire to My enemies and a river of life eternal to My loved ones’, should flee from the enemies of God and instead seek the fellowship of His lovers.  (Shoghi Effendi: Dawn of a New Day, p. 200)

Before reading Shoghi Effendi’s explanation, I used this Hidden Word to consider whether or how much time I should spend with the people who’d abused me so terribly in childhood.  Because I didn’t deem their behavior “righteous” or “godly”, I felt as if this was giving me permission to avoid them.  However, these people were Godly in that they made sure I learned about God, so I could see there was a difference between what they believed and how they lived their lives, which was confusing.

I like Shoghi Effendi’s second part of this quote, where we “seek the fellowship of His lovers”, which reminds me to spend my time with other Bahá’ís and those whose behavior matches their beliefs.  This is easier to follow!

Spending my time with God’s lovers makes me feel safe and loved and protected, and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Violence and Abuse:  Reasons and Remedies on Kindle

You might also like to read Who are the Ungodly and Why Should We Avoid Them?  

Help Keep This Site Alive

 

 

I am Seen

O Friends! Verily I say, whatsoever ye have concealed within your hearts is to Us open and manifest as the day; but that it is hidden is of Our grace and favour, and not of your deserving.      (Bahá’u’lláh, Hidden Words, Persian  60)

When I was a child, I was taught this song.  The first verse goes like this:  “God sees the little sparrow fall, it meets his tender view; if God so loves the little birds, I know he loves me too.”

The implication was that He is All-Knowing and All-Seeing.  I didn’t feel seen by God, though.  For years, I’d prayed for the abuse in my family to stop and it only got worse, so I really believed that just like other families were different than ours, God’s relationship with me was different too.

When I read the above quote, it gave me great comfort, because it suggested that even know no one had ever called my parents to account for the terrible things they did, God saw them all.  This let me rest in His justice and His timing.

When I looked at it through the eyes of my own sins, it also gave me comfort:  He knows what I’m thinking and doing, good and bad, and it’s hidden from others as a protection from my ego, and until such time as I can ask for His forgiveness.

God sees me and protects me and loves me and is continually showering His favor on me and I am grateful!

What jumped out for you as you read today’s meditation?  I’d love it if you would share so we can all expand our knowledge of the Writings!

If you liked this meditation, you might also like my book Violence and Abuse:  Reasons and Remedies 

 

Help Keep This Site Alive